Avoiding Short Term Memory Loss
by: Greg Frost
Various names for memory loss are amnesia and dementia. One of our biggest fears as we age is losing our mental facilities, and how to deal with family members who are experiencing such memory loss. Short term memory loss can be triggered by stroke, circulation, Alzheimer’s as well as poor conductivity in the brain. However, take heart that memory loss is temporary and can be improved or avoided.
What is Short Term Memory?
Short-term memory refers to memories which last for a few minutes, and have gone through some amount of processing by the brain. It is usually of limited capacity, and absorbing new information causes the older information to be “forgotten”. Trying to communicate with those who have short term memory loss is frustrating.
Avoiding Short Term Memory Loss
1. Items can be maintained indefinitely in short-term memory by rehearsal: e.g. by repeating the information over and over again.
2. Repetition may also increase the probability that items in short-term memory will enter permanent storage in long-term memory.
3. Mental and physical exercises, your diet and nutritional supplements can help in avoiding short term memory loss.
4. Your body needs to have sufficient sleep in order to create links and connections in your memory. Hence, a minimum of 8 hours of sleep a day is recommended.
5. Your vision is an incredible resource for boosting your memory, with approximately 40% of the brain devoted to it. This is more than any other function of the brain!
6. Visit your doctor for regular blood tests, as they are indicators as to possible ailments and allows for your doctor to provide a cure through medications.
7. When your brain is deprived of the blood it needs, your memory health will be adversely affected. Cut down on the number of triglycerides and cholesterol in your blood, as these act as blockers.
8. In order to maintain the health of your mind, your brain needs nutrients such as folic acid and vitamins B6 and B12. These support the neurotransmitters in your brain that allows you to pass on signals and information to where they should be.
These are 8 simply tips to avoiding short term memory loss. Do keep in mind that although aging affects memory loss, other factors such as health issues, alcohol and drug usage, smoking, and environmental toxins play an important part as well.
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Monday, 2 June 2008
- Get Over Procrastination and Start Living Your Life
Get Over Procrastination and Start Living Your Life
by: Greg Frost
So you have recognized that you have a problem, finally. Procrastination has taken over your life, and you want it back. As difficult and impossible as it may seem, it is achievable. Approach a counsellor or a therapist for help, and don’t forget that the best person to help you is yourself.
First, you need to identify the cause of your procrastination. Is there a reason why you are not turning in your assignments on time? Or perhaps there is a reason why you are always late for work, and your projects are always not as good as they could have been? More often than not, people procrastinate not because they are lazy, but because of some other reasons. For example, a student could be afraid to work hard because they failed an assignment they slogged a month for. This could lead to the fear that they are simply not good enough, and they reason that if they don’t put in the effort, they will not find out if they are dumb. Similarly you could be dreading work due to emotions of anger. Perhaps your previous project was well done, but your manager stole the credit for it completely. This could lead to feelings of resentment and unwillingness to put in your best effort.
Once you have identified the reasons behind your bad habit, you have to confront these fears before you can overcome them. Speaking to a counsellor or a therapist can help you to uncover the underlying reasons for your procrastination, and help you to improve your self confidence. They can also provide you with the best suited method or possible pitfalls you may face to help you overcome procrastination and gett on with your life.
Secondly, you need to take action. It is not enough to recognize you have a problem, and identify what it is. Now that you know, you have to take steps. If you find yourself often forgetting appointments and deadlines, get a notebook or a diary and jot down all the important dates and tasks as they take place everyday. Make this a permanent habit, and ensure that you check it everyday to ensure that you are well on schedule to completing your work in time.
Do not give in to the temptation to place the responsibility on the diary or planner. It is there to help you remember, it is not a cure all. In other words, owning a diary is not going to help you suddenly remember or complete your task. The onus is on you. Avoid buying multiple notebooks or planners, as this will cause you unnecessary confusion. It is also a good excuse to “forget” because you looked in the wrong planner.
There are many reasons why people start to procrastinate, and once you have identified the cause, you should work with your counsellor to draw up a reasonable plan to overcome your problem. If your issue is with poor time management, learn to plan your day realistically to complete tasks. If on the other hand you issue is with prioritization, or the lack thereof, that is not going to help you. You will need to segregate your tasks based on their level of importance and do what is important first.
Be realistic with your expectations and your solutions, and persevere! Just like habit takes time to build up, it also takes time to overcome.
by: Greg Frost
So you have recognized that you have a problem, finally. Procrastination has taken over your life, and you want it back. As difficult and impossible as it may seem, it is achievable. Approach a counsellor or a therapist for help, and don’t forget that the best person to help you is yourself.
First, you need to identify the cause of your procrastination. Is there a reason why you are not turning in your assignments on time? Or perhaps there is a reason why you are always late for work, and your projects are always not as good as they could have been? More often than not, people procrastinate not because they are lazy, but because of some other reasons. For example, a student could be afraid to work hard because they failed an assignment they slogged a month for. This could lead to the fear that they are simply not good enough, and they reason that if they don’t put in the effort, they will not find out if they are dumb. Similarly you could be dreading work due to emotions of anger. Perhaps your previous project was well done, but your manager stole the credit for it completely. This could lead to feelings of resentment and unwillingness to put in your best effort.
Once you have identified the reasons behind your bad habit, you have to confront these fears before you can overcome them. Speaking to a counsellor or a therapist can help you to uncover the underlying reasons for your procrastination, and help you to improve your self confidence. They can also provide you with the best suited method or possible pitfalls you may face to help you overcome procrastination and gett on with your life.
Secondly, you need to take action. It is not enough to recognize you have a problem, and identify what it is. Now that you know, you have to take steps. If you find yourself often forgetting appointments and deadlines, get a notebook or a diary and jot down all the important dates and tasks as they take place everyday. Make this a permanent habit, and ensure that you check it everyday to ensure that you are well on schedule to completing your work in time.
Do not give in to the temptation to place the responsibility on the diary or planner. It is there to help you remember, it is not a cure all. In other words, owning a diary is not going to help you suddenly remember or complete your task. The onus is on you. Avoid buying multiple notebooks or planners, as this will cause you unnecessary confusion. It is also a good excuse to “forget” because you looked in the wrong planner.
There are many reasons why people start to procrastinate, and once you have identified the cause, you should work with your counsellor to draw up a reasonable plan to overcome your problem. If your issue is with poor time management, learn to plan your day realistically to complete tasks. If on the other hand you issue is with prioritization, or the lack thereof, that is not going to help you. You will need to segregate your tasks based on their level of importance and do what is important first.
Be realistic with your expectations and your solutions, and persevere! Just like habit takes time to build up, it also takes time to overcome.
- Reduce Your Stress Simply: Excerpted From Life's Little How To Book
Reduce Your Stress Simply: Excerpted From Life's Little How To Book
by: Jaleh Donaldson
Sample Chapter 1:
Reduce Your Stress Simply
Stress is an everyday part of life. You can't avoid it, but you can do certain things to alleviate it. In our society, people try to reduce stress in a variety of negative ways, such as taking over- the-counter drugs, overeating, and watching television. I'm going to suggest some positive steps you can take to reduce stress. First of all, consider your answers to the following questions:
Do you often get a headache?
Do you notice yourself holding your breath?
Do your shoulders and back often feel tense?
Do you have trouble sleeping?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have the symptoms of stress. If you don't heed your body's warning signals and do something about your stress, you may end up with a stress-related illness such as heart disease, cancer, stomach ulcers, high blood pressure, impotence, chronic low back pain, and respiratory problems. You need to focus on positive ways to reduce the effects of stress. The following are suggestions of what you can do:
Exercise. Exercising regularly is one of the most effective ways of reducing the tension in your body. Examples include bike riding, weight lifting, swimming, and jogging. Pick an exercise program that you enjoy, which will keep you motivated, and one that you are physically capable of doing. Be careful not to overdo it or to do an exercise that might exacerbate any existing physical problems or injuries.
Practice deep breathing. When we're stressed, our breathing is often shallow and short. Taking long, slow, deep breaths can prevent you from tensing up and developing a headache. For two weeks practice the following deep breathing exercise three times a day for fifteen minutes: Take a comfortable position and put one hand on your abdomen and the other on your chest. Slowly breathe in through your nose, hold it for a couple of seconds, and then slowly exhale through your mouth. If your chest rises more than your stomach, you're breathing from your chest, which is one of the symptoms of stress. Be sure to breathe from your abdomen. Practicing this exercise regularly will help to change your breathing pattern. Then, when you catch yourself stressing out, you can stop and breathe deeply for a few minutes.
Imagine a peaceful, relaxing place. Sometimes when we are in stressful situations, it is helpful to visualize being in a relaxing place. It helps our minds to clear, the tension to leave our bodies, and enables us to recoup our emotional and physical strength. When I'm stressed out, I imagine myself walking along the ocean, listening to the sound of the waves, smelling the cool refreshing air, feeling the warm sun against my face. For many people, the idea of having a "relaxing place" is new, so at the end of this chapter I've provided some questions that will help you create your own special relaxing place a place that is unique to you. Once you have this place in your mind, you will be able to visit it whenever the need arises.
Talk to someone you trust. When you're upset, holding your feelings inside doesn't help. It's better to share your feelings with someone you trust. Your problem may not be solved, but talking about your negative feelings will help to reduce your stress.
Maintain good eating and sleeping habits. When you don't eat or sleep right, your body feels stressed. Eat healthy foods and get six to eight hours of sleep a night.
Manage your time effectively. When you're not getting everything done, you're going to feel stressed. Sit down and prioritize what you need to do. Give more time to the activities that are important and less time to those that aren't. By scheduling and organizing your time, you're more likely to get things done and thus feel less stressed.
Think realistically. Sometimes our negative thinking makes things seem worse than they really are. For example, let's say your boss appears to have an angry look on his face, and you conclude that he's angry with you. The truth is, he might be stressed out for reasons of his own. Perhaps he doesn't feel well or has fallen behind on a deadline. Look at the facts before you jump to conclusions.
Laugh. Laughing releases endorphins that can help reduce stress. Look at the light side of life. Watch a funny movie. Read a humorous novel or a book of jokes.
Do something pleasant for yourself. Get a massage, take a trip, or have dinner at your favorite restaurant. You can also engage in pleasant activities that don't involve money. For example, take a hot bath, go for a nice walk, have a picnic at the park, or curl up with a good book.
Use aromatherapy in your home. The fragrances of aromatherapy, which are usually derived from flower and plant oils, powders, and resins, are designed to reduce stress and affect the mood. Some popular aromas are lavender, sandalwood, juniper, rosemary, jasmine, and rose. Scented candles, incense, and potpourris are examples of aromatherapy. Each person is different, so experiment until you find a smell that calms and relaxes you.
Create a relaxing home environment. Your home should be a place where you can refresh and rejuvenate yourself. You don't need to remodel, just accessorize the space to create a stress-free oasis. Soothing accessories can include pictures of loved ones, fresh or scented flowers, plants, indoor water fountains, artwork, and health and beauty magazines. Have fun making your home stress free and completely relaxing!
Let go of the things you can't control. Many aspects of our environment are beyond our control, and overstressing about them wastes our time and energy. For example, you can't change how other people drive or your spouse's annoying little habits, and you can't avoid being laid off from work or a death in the family. Remind yourself to be realistic about what you can and can't control and don't cause yourself unnecessary stress.
Avoid people who are demeaning or irritating. Mean people are toxic. They drain your energy, stress you out, and make you feel bad about yourself. Avoid them. Choose instead to spend time with people who are friendly, positive, and supportive.
Be assertive. Let people know what you think, feel, and want. You have a right to stand up for yourself without bullying others or allowing them to bully you. Stress occurs when you let others take advantage of you. Practice with friends and family. Especially if there's an issue that's stressing you out, take some time to rehearse what you're going to say. Being prepared in a situation will reduce the tension. Once you've practiced being assertive, you'll be able to draw on your assertiveness whenever the need arises.
Seek support. If you find the stress and anxiety overwhelming, then seek professional help from a counselor who works with clients who have trouble reducing their stress. You can also attend a support group, workshop, or class that teaches stress-management techniques.
Activity
After completing the questions, use the answers to write a paragraph about your "relaxing place." Start off by thinking about a place where you feel relaxed.
What do your surroundings look like?
What colors do you see?
What do you smell?
What do you hear?
How does your body feel when you're relaxed in this place?
What is the name of your relaxing place?
by: Jaleh Donaldson
Sample Chapter 1:
Reduce Your Stress Simply
Stress is an everyday part of life. You can't avoid it, but you can do certain things to alleviate it. In our society, people try to reduce stress in a variety of negative ways, such as taking over- the-counter drugs, overeating, and watching television. I'm going to suggest some positive steps you can take to reduce stress. First of all, consider your answers to the following questions:
Do you often get a headache?
Do you notice yourself holding your breath?
Do your shoulders and back often feel tense?
Do you have trouble sleeping?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have the symptoms of stress. If you don't heed your body's warning signals and do something about your stress, you may end up with a stress-related illness such as heart disease, cancer, stomach ulcers, high blood pressure, impotence, chronic low back pain, and respiratory problems. You need to focus on positive ways to reduce the effects of stress. The following are suggestions of what you can do:
Exercise. Exercising regularly is one of the most effective ways of reducing the tension in your body. Examples include bike riding, weight lifting, swimming, and jogging. Pick an exercise program that you enjoy, which will keep you motivated, and one that you are physically capable of doing. Be careful not to overdo it or to do an exercise that might exacerbate any existing physical problems or injuries.
Practice deep breathing. When we're stressed, our breathing is often shallow and short. Taking long, slow, deep breaths can prevent you from tensing up and developing a headache. For two weeks practice the following deep breathing exercise three times a day for fifteen minutes: Take a comfortable position and put one hand on your abdomen and the other on your chest. Slowly breathe in through your nose, hold it for a couple of seconds, and then slowly exhale through your mouth. If your chest rises more than your stomach, you're breathing from your chest, which is one of the symptoms of stress. Be sure to breathe from your abdomen. Practicing this exercise regularly will help to change your breathing pattern. Then, when you catch yourself stressing out, you can stop and breathe deeply for a few minutes.
Imagine a peaceful, relaxing place. Sometimes when we are in stressful situations, it is helpful to visualize being in a relaxing place. It helps our minds to clear, the tension to leave our bodies, and enables us to recoup our emotional and physical strength. When I'm stressed out, I imagine myself walking along the ocean, listening to the sound of the waves, smelling the cool refreshing air, feeling the warm sun against my face. For many people, the idea of having a "relaxing place" is new, so at the end of this chapter I've provided some questions that will help you create your own special relaxing place a place that is unique to you. Once you have this place in your mind, you will be able to visit it whenever the need arises.
Talk to someone you trust. When you're upset, holding your feelings inside doesn't help. It's better to share your feelings with someone you trust. Your problem may not be solved, but talking about your negative feelings will help to reduce your stress.
Maintain good eating and sleeping habits. When you don't eat or sleep right, your body feels stressed. Eat healthy foods and get six to eight hours of sleep a night.
Manage your time effectively. When you're not getting everything done, you're going to feel stressed. Sit down and prioritize what you need to do. Give more time to the activities that are important and less time to those that aren't. By scheduling and organizing your time, you're more likely to get things done and thus feel less stressed.
Think realistically. Sometimes our negative thinking makes things seem worse than they really are. For example, let's say your boss appears to have an angry look on his face, and you conclude that he's angry with you. The truth is, he might be stressed out for reasons of his own. Perhaps he doesn't feel well or has fallen behind on a deadline. Look at the facts before you jump to conclusions.
Laugh. Laughing releases endorphins that can help reduce stress. Look at the light side of life. Watch a funny movie. Read a humorous novel or a book of jokes.
Do something pleasant for yourself. Get a massage, take a trip, or have dinner at your favorite restaurant. You can also engage in pleasant activities that don't involve money. For example, take a hot bath, go for a nice walk, have a picnic at the park, or curl up with a good book.
Use aromatherapy in your home. The fragrances of aromatherapy, which are usually derived from flower and plant oils, powders, and resins, are designed to reduce stress and affect the mood. Some popular aromas are lavender, sandalwood, juniper, rosemary, jasmine, and rose. Scented candles, incense, and potpourris are examples of aromatherapy. Each person is different, so experiment until you find a smell that calms and relaxes you.
Create a relaxing home environment. Your home should be a place where you can refresh and rejuvenate yourself. You don't need to remodel, just accessorize the space to create a stress-free oasis. Soothing accessories can include pictures of loved ones, fresh or scented flowers, plants, indoor water fountains, artwork, and health and beauty magazines. Have fun making your home stress free and completely relaxing!
Let go of the things you can't control. Many aspects of our environment are beyond our control, and overstressing about them wastes our time and energy. For example, you can't change how other people drive or your spouse's annoying little habits, and you can't avoid being laid off from work or a death in the family. Remind yourself to be realistic about what you can and can't control and don't cause yourself unnecessary stress.
Avoid people who are demeaning or irritating. Mean people are toxic. They drain your energy, stress you out, and make you feel bad about yourself. Avoid them. Choose instead to spend time with people who are friendly, positive, and supportive.
Be assertive. Let people know what you think, feel, and want. You have a right to stand up for yourself without bullying others or allowing them to bully you. Stress occurs when you let others take advantage of you. Practice with friends and family. Especially if there's an issue that's stressing you out, take some time to rehearse what you're going to say. Being prepared in a situation will reduce the tension. Once you've practiced being assertive, you'll be able to draw on your assertiveness whenever the need arises.
Seek support. If you find the stress and anxiety overwhelming, then seek professional help from a counselor who works with clients who have trouble reducing their stress. You can also attend a support group, workshop, or class that teaches stress-management techniques.
Activity
After completing the questions, use the answers to write a paragraph about your "relaxing place." Start off by thinking about a place where you feel relaxed.
What do your surroundings look like?
What colors do you see?
What do you smell?
What do you hear?
How does your body feel when you're relaxed in this place?
What is the name of your relaxing place?
- In Other Words?
In Other Words?
by: Steven Gillman
People use the expression "in other words" because sometimes other words are necessary to better understand something. You probably use it yourself, but how often do you actually think about the words you are using, and the effect they may have? How often do you change the words you use in order to change your perspective or get a better result?
To Think In Other Words
That the words we choose affect how we see things, and even affect our physiology, isn't a new idea. It is easy to prove it to yourself. Just have a friend try to relax while you tell him, "make that tension jump right out of your muscles." Afterwards try it again with, "let the tension drain from your muscles and flow out of your body." Both instructions communicate the same basic idea, but the second is more effective at getting the desired result; relaxation.
In other words, words are used to accomplish something, so why not use the ones that are best suited for the job? It's an idea that makes sense for communicating with others, but it is perhaps even more so when communicating with oneself. Your own "self talk" can dramatically affect whether you get the results you want.
Suppose you repeatedly say something like, "I can't handle this," when in tough situations. You are programming your subconscious mind to believe that you are not capable of doing certain things, and with time this will become more true the more you repeat it. That may not be the result you are hoping for.
In reality, you're probably just tired and frustrated. You actually are "handling" the situation in some way, but you would like a better way to do it. So why not say that instead? When you are tempted to say "this is too much for me," or "I can't handle all this," say, "I'll find a better way to deal with this." This instruction to your subconscious mind is almost certain to be more productive.
Better Words
Below are a few examples of words or phrases that may not be getting you the results you want, followed by some possibly more productive alternatives. These are just to get you thinking. If they make sense for you, use them, but experiment with your own alternatives as well. Think in terms of the goal, and find the words that are most likely to help.
"I can't..." Replacements: "I can..." or "I'm choosing not to right now.."
"This always happens..." Replacement: "Sometimes this happens..."
"I always do the same thing... Replacement: "I make this mistake sometimes..."
"This is so overwhelming..." Replacement: "I'm busy with many goals..."
"I have to..." Replacement: "I choose to..."
This last one reminds you to accept responsibility for your actions. Phrase it this way, and you feel compelled to either reaffirm your choices or make new ones. This prevents you from thinking that others or the "situation" forces you to do things - a very negative and unproductive perspective.
"Never," and "always" commonly show up in phrases that are counter-productive. They are sometimes powerful de-motivators that drain your energy. "This never works for me," or "I always screw up," are not likely to help you get results that you want, are they? Avoid over-generalizing like this, unless it is more like, "I always find a way to get things done." In other words, start using better words.
by: Steven Gillman
People use the expression "in other words" because sometimes other words are necessary to better understand something. You probably use it yourself, but how often do you actually think about the words you are using, and the effect they may have? How often do you change the words you use in order to change your perspective or get a better result?
To Think In Other Words
That the words we choose affect how we see things, and even affect our physiology, isn't a new idea. It is easy to prove it to yourself. Just have a friend try to relax while you tell him, "make that tension jump right out of your muscles." Afterwards try it again with, "let the tension drain from your muscles and flow out of your body." Both instructions communicate the same basic idea, but the second is more effective at getting the desired result; relaxation.
In other words, words are used to accomplish something, so why not use the ones that are best suited for the job? It's an idea that makes sense for communicating with others, but it is perhaps even more so when communicating with oneself. Your own "self talk" can dramatically affect whether you get the results you want.
Suppose you repeatedly say something like, "I can't handle this," when in tough situations. You are programming your subconscious mind to believe that you are not capable of doing certain things, and with time this will become more true the more you repeat it. That may not be the result you are hoping for.
In reality, you're probably just tired and frustrated. You actually are "handling" the situation in some way, but you would like a better way to do it. So why not say that instead? When you are tempted to say "this is too much for me," or "I can't handle all this," say, "I'll find a better way to deal with this." This instruction to your subconscious mind is almost certain to be more productive.
Better Words
Below are a few examples of words or phrases that may not be getting you the results you want, followed by some possibly more productive alternatives. These are just to get you thinking. If they make sense for you, use them, but experiment with your own alternatives as well. Think in terms of the goal, and find the words that are most likely to help.
"I can't..." Replacements: "I can..." or "I'm choosing not to right now.."
"This always happens..." Replacement: "Sometimes this happens..."
"I always do the same thing... Replacement: "I make this mistake sometimes..."
"This is so overwhelming..." Replacement: "I'm busy with many goals..."
"I have to..." Replacement: "I choose to..."
This last one reminds you to accept responsibility for your actions. Phrase it this way, and you feel compelled to either reaffirm your choices or make new ones. This prevents you from thinking that others or the "situation" forces you to do things - a very negative and unproductive perspective.
"Never," and "always" commonly show up in phrases that are counter-productive. They are sometimes powerful de-motivators that drain your energy. "This never works for me," or "I always screw up," are not likely to help you get results that you want, are they? Avoid over-generalizing like this, unless it is more like, "I always find a way to get things done." In other words, start using better words.
- Scared or Sacred? Our Response to Transition Times
Scared or Sacred? Our Response to Transition Times
by: Tama J. Kieves
These days, many of us are in the bog-swamp-fog of transition. Transition is that Jello-like place on the way to a new identity—a place that defies certainty in the meantime. Maybe we have chosen to leave something behind. Maybe we’ve been heaved off a crumbling ledge--with or without a severance package. Either way newness and “lack of control” have a way of sweeping in and taking our breath away, changing the course of our days, and leaving us hesitating before the Grand Void of Change.
Here’s what happens in transition—you’re left alone with your mind. You don’t know how things are going to go, and so you start making things up. Defeating thoughts trudge their cement-heavy suitcases in and pull out documentation evidencing your imminent and unmerciful doom. They have been waiting for years to show you this evidence and watching Perry Mason shows to practice their denouncing opening arguments. But really transition is a blank screen. You see what you believe, nothing more and nothing less. Take away the props of the everyday known world, perhaps your comforting successes, stare into the void, and before too long you see the buried stories you have about yourself. Most times, they’re hackneyed, but still haunting.
In-between time is acid on our egos. It’s a strong chemical that eats away at our self-worth and self-esteem until we shift gears and make use of our in-between time, not just any use, but soulful use. This is a time to heal and strengthen, let go of the self-attacking beliefs from your past, commit to your true desires and try on the bold apparel of a magnificent future self. This is a checkpoint. You can’t go into the big territory of a new life with the mindset of the past identity. Your old identity must be celebrated and laid to rest. Someone new, yet familiar as your breath, is emerging on the scene.
These powerful times can be frightening, but we can allow this natural process to birth and grow us. We are scared when we resist transition. Transitions are sacred when we enter them, when we are stripped, cleansed, detoxed and purified by them. They are shamans that disorient and clarify us at the same time, awakening a new vibration, manifestation, or expression of our soul.
So watch your thoughts during this time. “I’m stuck. I’m stuck here forever.” “What if I run out of money or no opportunities ever come my way again?” You wouldn’t have that thought unless you also had the thought that maybe you weren’t that valuable, maybe you weren’t that powerful, maybe you weren’t blessed and sitting in the silver chariot of your destiny--escorted by a consistent wise and inspired steed.
It’s easy to look upon a bleak future when your heart is closed down to yourself. But when you get clearer about who you truly are, the life you were meant to live, the love in your heart you have to give, your unequalled value, it is impossible to imagine a narrow path to a dire future. Don’t look “out there.” Don’t take your cues from the screen. Look at what you believe about your True Self, not what you believe about the future, the economy, the way things are, the stock market, etc. Look at your soul, your precious radiant special package. Look at what you think you’d like to express or offer to others in our love-thirsty world. Look at what you know about yourself, deep, deep down, underneath the false modesty, the precautionary “don’t get your hopes up,” the conditioned cynicism of our times.
Go deep, deep down, past old conditioning, to an infinite place inside that believes in you, knows the brilliant and fluid life you came to live. This is the self that will lead the way. This True Self navigates the new territory. And everything that no longer serves your destiny will remain behind. That’s what the checkpoint is for. No falsity can get you through this door. The ancient laments, bad habits, and scornful self-perceptions can’t come with you into the next sweet expression of your life. This is purification time. This is sacred time. Bless this time.
by: Tama J. Kieves
These days, many of us are in the bog-swamp-fog of transition. Transition is that Jello-like place on the way to a new identity—a place that defies certainty in the meantime. Maybe we have chosen to leave something behind. Maybe we’ve been heaved off a crumbling ledge--with or without a severance package. Either way newness and “lack of control” have a way of sweeping in and taking our breath away, changing the course of our days, and leaving us hesitating before the Grand Void of Change.
Here’s what happens in transition—you’re left alone with your mind. You don’t know how things are going to go, and so you start making things up. Defeating thoughts trudge their cement-heavy suitcases in and pull out documentation evidencing your imminent and unmerciful doom. They have been waiting for years to show you this evidence and watching Perry Mason shows to practice their denouncing opening arguments. But really transition is a blank screen. You see what you believe, nothing more and nothing less. Take away the props of the everyday known world, perhaps your comforting successes, stare into the void, and before too long you see the buried stories you have about yourself. Most times, they’re hackneyed, but still haunting.
In-between time is acid on our egos. It’s a strong chemical that eats away at our self-worth and self-esteem until we shift gears and make use of our in-between time, not just any use, but soulful use. This is a time to heal and strengthen, let go of the self-attacking beliefs from your past, commit to your true desires and try on the bold apparel of a magnificent future self. This is a checkpoint. You can’t go into the big territory of a new life with the mindset of the past identity. Your old identity must be celebrated and laid to rest. Someone new, yet familiar as your breath, is emerging on the scene.
These powerful times can be frightening, but we can allow this natural process to birth and grow us. We are scared when we resist transition. Transitions are sacred when we enter them, when we are stripped, cleansed, detoxed and purified by them. They are shamans that disorient and clarify us at the same time, awakening a new vibration, manifestation, or expression of our soul.
So watch your thoughts during this time. “I’m stuck. I’m stuck here forever.” “What if I run out of money or no opportunities ever come my way again?” You wouldn’t have that thought unless you also had the thought that maybe you weren’t that valuable, maybe you weren’t that powerful, maybe you weren’t blessed and sitting in the silver chariot of your destiny--escorted by a consistent wise and inspired steed.
It’s easy to look upon a bleak future when your heart is closed down to yourself. But when you get clearer about who you truly are, the life you were meant to live, the love in your heart you have to give, your unequalled value, it is impossible to imagine a narrow path to a dire future. Don’t look “out there.” Don’t take your cues from the screen. Look at what you believe about your True Self, not what you believe about the future, the economy, the way things are, the stock market, etc. Look at your soul, your precious radiant special package. Look at what you think you’d like to express or offer to others in our love-thirsty world. Look at what you know about yourself, deep, deep down, underneath the false modesty, the precautionary “don’t get your hopes up,” the conditioned cynicism of our times.
Go deep, deep down, past old conditioning, to an infinite place inside that believes in you, knows the brilliant and fluid life you came to live. This is the self that will lead the way. This True Self navigates the new territory. And everything that no longer serves your destiny will remain behind. That’s what the checkpoint is for. No falsity can get you through this door. The ancient laments, bad habits, and scornful self-perceptions can’t come with you into the next sweet expression of your life. This is purification time. This is sacred time. Bless this time.
- How Do We Get Out Of This Mess?
How Do We Get Out Of This Mess?
by: Terrence Aubrey
We have a problem, a big problem, we have been traveling the wrong path, somehow, at sometime we took a wrong turn and now it is wake up time. The big question now is having gained ever more momentum in traveling this road, can we turn around, slow down,or change dirrection. It would seem that we do not have so much time to find out.
How on earth did we get here? What went wrong? It is as though during the process of evolution we lost something, forgot something very important, or maybe we just turned our backs upon it.
Whichever it was, taking one step back and looking at the evolution of mankind, it is a strange and un nerving experience. Whichever way you look at it, there can be no denying that of all life forms with whom we share our world, we have developed and evolved in a very unique and bizarre way.
In just about every aspect of our advancement and evolvement we have behaved in, to quote Dr Spock "a very illogical way".
Examples are to be found all around us, all it takes is a break from the grindstone and pressures of life. To just stop for one moment and try to take a look from a different perspective, to try and see through fresh and disspationate eyes. Ok a few examples....... Ok here are a few for starters.
The most dangerous man on this planet.....Is making war on terror, "in order to make the world a safer place". Sorry, run that past me again!
The greatest International soft drinks company produce a product that rots teeth and God knows what else........and they target kids in their advertising campaign.
The greatest International fast food enterprise produce food that has now been proven to be at best junk and at worst seriously harmful to health...and yes it is aimed at children. What does this say, what does this tell you about human values. Is it not the greatest of measures nobility & civilisation that the strong should protect the weak and that the children should be at the forefront of our care and protection.
I am not anti American, but the plain fact is America has for some time now been at the forefront of consumerism and our current evolutionary direction. America has been telling the world now to follow them, become as them and they have even attacked countries that strongly dissagree with them.
Can we learn anything from the above,do we even have time to consider the implications, are we even interested in what all of this could mean? To me it indicates that we as a species have become hopelessly lost, that our sense of basic human values has been lost and that we have, as a species morally lost our way.
We regard ourselves as superior to all the other life forms with whom we share our world. Let's see how dumb they are.
Take the animals that we are most familiar with, closest too, cats and dogs Even they seem to share qualities that we no longer have qualities that we do not even consider important. `Blow cigarette smoke in the direction of a cat, or dog, runs away right? We the smart ones not only breath it in, we like it!
Again dogs and cats. There are countless tales of these animals getting lost, or left behind, from a house move and finding their way, sometimes 1,000,s of miles to their owners. How do they do that, what was guiding them?
In truth the magic and magnificance of creation surrounds us all, but we have become blind to it, or worse we no longer care to consider its importance. The wildlife that still retains that so important connection we dismiss with ill considered explanations. Yes of course birds can migrate maybe 1,000,s of miles its in their genes we say and dismiss it as unimportant. What is in their genes, what is guiding them?
Fish, put Koi Carp in a small pond and they will not grow very much and probably not mate either. transfer those same fish to a bigger pond and they will both grow and mate. How do they do that, what is guiding them?
Really the list is endless, we are in fact surrounded by a world of wonders and inspiration, but can we see, can we learn, or at least be in awe of these incredible and wonderful capabilities. Is it possible that somewhere along the road that we as a race have been travelling for milleniums we lost something, could it be that we lost a very precious quality? That we have become disconnected to the very thread of existence and in losing that connection, we have in actual fact completely lost our way?
Maybe there is something, some spark within us that lies dormant, some faint inborn connection to something that we no longer undertand? Star Wars was a monster hit across the world and the "force" that central theme of these movies, was portayed as an achievable connection to an inner guiding strength, a power within. Could it be. The Indian Fakirs able to overcome bodily limitations, even to the point of slowing their very heartbeat to a point close to, medically definable death. Throughout the ages there have been signs and signals, that there is more to being a human being than soley the physical and material. The magicians of legend, the saints and the sages and the prophets have all tried to advise us, but we seem to be unable to understand, or have time to discover individually this connection. We seem now to be obsessed only with the material and pysical aspects of being alive.
How far have we come in terms of awareness, in terms of being human? Have we even evolved, or become any wiser at all? Is not the mentality behind the creation of the atom bomb equal, or the same as the mentality of the caveman milleniums ago on making the first club. Is there in fact any indication at all that we have become wiser? Are not both of these developments based on the same fears, the same agressive tendencies and the same feelings of being alone, distrustful or apart from our fellow man. A species that for personal financial gain will produce food, or drink that is actually harmful to his fellow humans. A species that will put into those same products chemicals to either enhance the flavour, or prolong the life of the product, that is again provably harmful to human life.
If this was not insane enough these same products are very often aimed at the children. Is it not our moral duty to protect our children? Of course we are destroying the planet, why not? We have been working hard at destroying each other it seems; since we learnt how walk on two legs.
by: Terrence Aubrey
We have a problem, a big problem, we have been traveling the wrong path, somehow, at sometime we took a wrong turn and now it is wake up time. The big question now is having gained ever more momentum in traveling this road, can we turn around, slow down,or change dirrection. It would seem that we do not have so much time to find out.
How on earth did we get here? What went wrong? It is as though during the process of evolution we lost something, forgot something very important, or maybe we just turned our backs upon it.
Whichever it was, taking one step back and looking at the evolution of mankind, it is a strange and un nerving experience. Whichever way you look at it, there can be no denying that of all life forms with whom we share our world, we have developed and evolved in a very unique and bizarre way.
In just about every aspect of our advancement and evolvement we have behaved in, to quote Dr Spock "a very illogical way".
Examples are to be found all around us, all it takes is a break from the grindstone and pressures of life. To just stop for one moment and try to take a look from a different perspective, to try and see through fresh and disspationate eyes. Ok a few examples....... Ok here are a few for starters.
The most dangerous man on this planet.....Is making war on terror, "in order to make the world a safer place". Sorry, run that past me again!
The greatest International soft drinks company produce a product that rots teeth and God knows what else........and they target kids in their advertising campaign.
The greatest International fast food enterprise produce food that has now been proven to be at best junk and at worst seriously harmful to health...and yes it is aimed at children. What does this say, what does this tell you about human values. Is it not the greatest of measures nobility & civilisation that the strong should protect the weak and that the children should be at the forefront of our care and protection.
I am not anti American, but the plain fact is America has for some time now been at the forefront of consumerism and our current evolutionary direction. America has been telling the world now to follow them, become as them and they have even attacked countries that strongly dissagree with them.
Can we learn anything from the above,do we even have time to consider the implications, are we even interested in what all of this could mean? To me it indicates that we as a species have become hopelessly lost, that our sense of basic human values has been lost and that we have, as a species morally lost our way.
We regard ourselves as superior to all the other life forms with whom we share our world. Let's see how dumb they are.
Take the animals that we are most familiar with, closest too, cats and dogs Even they seem to share qualities that we no longer have qualities that we do not even consider important. `Blow cigarette smoke in the direction of a cat, or dog, runs away right? We the smart ones not only breath it in, we like it!
Again dogs and cats. There are countless tales of these animals getting lost, or left behind, from a house move and finding their way, sometimes 1,000,s of miles to their owners. How do they do that, what was guiding them?
In truth the magic and magnificance of creation surrounds us all, but we have become blind to it, or worse we no longer care to consider its importance. The wildlife that still retains that so important connection we dismiss with ill considered explanations. Yes of course birds can migrate maybe 1,000,s of miles its in their genes we say and dismiss it as unimportant. What is in their genes, what is guiding them?
Fish, put Koi Carp in a small pond and they will not grow very much and probably not mate either. transfer those same fish to a bigger pond and they will both grow and mate. How do they do that, what is guiding them?
Really the list is endless, we are in fact surrounded by a world of wonders and inspiration, but can we see, can we learn, or at least be in awe of these incredible and wonderful capabilities. Is it possible that somewhere along the road that we as a race have been travelling for milleniums we lost something, could it be that we lost a very precious quality? That we have become disconnected to the very thread of existence and in losing that connection, we have in actual fact completely lost our way?
Maybe there is something, some spark within us that lies dormant, some faint inborn connection to something that we no longer undertand? Star Wars was a monster hit across the world and the "force" that central theme of these movies, was portayed as an achievable connection to an inner guiding strength, a power within. Could it be. The Indian Fakirs able to overcome bodily limitations, even to the point of slowing their very heartbeat to a point close to, medically definable death. Throughout the ages there have been signs and signals, that there is more to being a human being than soley the physical and material. The magicians of legend, the saints and the sages and the prophets have all tried to advise us, but we seem to be unable to understand, or have time to discover individually this connection. We seem now to be obsessed only with the material and pysical aspects of being alive.
How far have we come in terms of awareness, in terms of being human? Have we even evolved, or become any wiser at all? Is not the mentality behind the creation of the atom bomb equal, or the same as the mentality of the caveman milleniums ago on making the first club. Is there in fact any indication at all that we have become wiser? Are not both of these developments based on the same fears, the same agressive tendencies and the same feelings of being alone, distrustful or apart from our fellow man. A species that for personal financial gain will produce food, or drink that is actually harmful to his fellow humans. A species that will put into those same products chemicals to either enhance the flavour, or prolong the life of the product, that is again provably harmful to human life.
If this was not insane enough these same products are very often aimed at the children. Is it not our moral duty to protect our children? Of course we are destroying the planet, why not? We have been working hard at destroying each other it seems; since we learnt how walk on two legs.
- How to Pass an Interview!
How to Pass an Interview!
by: Zohra Sarwari
Nine Steps to Interview Success
These days, the average person changes their career seven to ten times within their life span. This means that the average person is going to send out several hundred copies of their resumes in their lifetime…and yes, they’re going to have to go through several interviews in their lifetime.
Scary, huh?
If the interview process makes you nervous, well, you’re not alone. But right now, it’s time to stop worrying. You’re about to learn the nine vital steps for interview success…how to pass any interview you face!
Step 1: Research the Company that you are being interviewed for:
It’s a pretty obvious trick: research the company you’re interviewing for and be prepared to show off what you know about them. Way too many people show up for an interview without having the first idea about what the particular company stands for. The truth is that you should know at least something about the company’s mission, its general business process, and its particular needs. Know how long the company has been in business and whether they’re financially sound and profitable. Research the company with a view to determine what you can do to help them achieve their goals. Be prepared to say specifically how your personal goals and experience are going to be valuable to the company.
Step 2: Know your resume:
In virtually any interview situation, you’re interviewer is going to ask you questions about your resume, about your experiences and even about the quirky stuff you’ve listed to pad it out. You should read your resume over and over, and know the details of it because you never know when you’re going to be asked about your chess playing experience or your interest in literature. Make sure there’s nothing detailed on your resume that you’re uncomfortable talking about.
Step 3: Dress for Success:
Appearance can become nine-tenths of the law if you don’t pay attention to it. For every interview, make sure you wear garments that are professional and appropriate the position that you’re seeking. Your clothes should be comfortable, clean, and pressed. Don’t create a crisis for yourself on the morning of the interview when it comes to your clothes. Pick out your outfit and make sure it’s ready the night before your big interview.
Step 4: Make sure that you wake up early and are on time:
Just as you shouldn’t let your wardrobe run you down on the big day, you shouldn’t let traffic or public transport delays upset you either. It’s also crucial that you don’t get lost on the way so have directions –and confirm them if you have to – well before you set off. These days, with MapQuest, you have no excuses. Make sure you leave the house early, and plan to be at the interview at least ten minutes early.
Step 5: Review interview questions:
Interviews may be pretty scary but they’re also pretty predictable. It doesn’t take much to predict the basic questions you’re going to be asked. Here are some examples:
Tell me about yourself?
Tell me about a time you failed miserably in your career?
What is your greatest strength/weakness?
Where do you see yourself five years from now?
What are your salary expectations for this position?
Why should we hire YOU?
Prepare sample answers to these questions. Memorize a couple of key responses. Remember that no matter who you’re interviewing for or with, if it’s a job interview, the basic focus is going to be on your experience, your goals, and your potential to contribute to the company. Be sure you can argue a case for yourself on these key points.
Step 6: Let the interviewer lead you:
The interviewer is the one running the interview but you can set the pace. Wait for the interviewer to ask the questions. Take your time to listen to the questions. Give your answers carefully; make sure they are considered. That said, each of your answers should be given with an energetic and enthusiastic voice. Above all, smile and enjoy the interview. Be courteous and always thank the interviewer at the end of the interview. Tell them that you’re well qualified for the job, and that you will prove it to them upon being hired. Don’t be afraid to be confident in yourself and your abilities.
Step 7: Ask for the next step:
The interviewer will ask most of the questions but you will have a chance to get a word in shortly. Find out what will happen next, and what you should expect after the interview. When should you be hearing from them about the job? When will the hiring decision be made?
Step 8: Send a thank you note:
Everything you do regarding your interview has consequences. Just as a good sales person follows up on a lead, after each interview you attend you should be sure to send a thank you note to the employer and the interviewer, thanking them for their time. Going the extra mile in this way will generally show that you’re qualified for the position, or at least that you’re a serious and diligent person.
Step 9: Follow-up:
Of course, sending a thank you note is something you do immediately after the interview. A reasonable period after, usually a week or two at least, you should take one further step to follow up. Call the company offices and ask if you can speak to the hiring manager who interviewed you. You can start the conversation by asking if they received your note. Then you can ask them if any decisions were made and, if not, approximately when you should call back or otherwise expect to hear from them. Don’t be pushy; above all, be polite and courteous, even if a response is not forthcoming.
WHEN YOU’RE HIRED…THINGS TO THINK ABOUT…
If you are hired, remember that you need to stand up to your promises. You should always be putting 110% effort. An unspoken trick to get comfortable in interviews and to always get the job you want: in every job you accept, make yourself shine. Regardless of how much you are paid or how much responsibility and work you’re given, take the initiative to do more. The more you’re prepared to do for your job, the future each of your jobs will take you. Don’t worry about being rewarded, just keep working hard, and it will pay off. I guarantee it.
by: Zohra Sarwari
Nine Steps to Interview Success
These days, the average person changes their career seven to ten times within their life span. This means that the average person is going to send out several hundred copies of their resumes in their lifetime…and yes, they’re going to have to go through several interviews in their lifetime.
Scary, huh?
If the interview process makes you nervous, well, you’re not alone. But right now, it’s time to stop worrying. You’re about to learn the nine vital steps for interview success…how to pass any interview you face!
Step 1: Research the Company that you are being interviewed for:
It’s a pretty obvious trick: research the company you’re interviewing for and be prepared to show off what you know about them. Way too many people show up for an interview without having the first idea about what the particular company stands for. The truth is that you should know at least something about the company’s mission, its general business process, and its particular needs. Know how long the company has been in business and whether they’re financially sound and profitable. Research the company with a view to determine what you can do to help them achieve their goals. Be prepared to say specifically how your personal goals and experience are going to be valuable to the company.
Step 2: Know your resume:
In virtually any interview situation, you’re interviewer is going to ask you questions about your resume, about your experiences and even about the quirky stuff you’ve listed to pad it out. You should read your resume over and over, and know the details of it because you never know when you’re going to be asked about your chess playing experience or your interest in literature. Make sure there’s nothing detailed on your resume that you’re uncomfortable talking about.
Step 3: Dress for Success:
Appearance can become nine-tenths of the law if you don’t pay attention to it. For every interview, make sure you wear garments that are professional and appropriate the position that you’re seeking. Your clothes should be comfortable, clean, and pressed. Don’t create a crisis for yourself on the morning of the interview when it comes to your clothes. Pick out your outfit and make sure it’s ready the night before your big interview.
Step 4: Make sure that you wake up early and are on time:
Just as you shouldn’t let your wardrobe run you down on the big day, you shouldn’t let traffic or public transport delays upset you either. It’s also crucial that you don’t get lost on the way so have directions –and confirm them if you have to – well before you set off. These days, with MapQuest, you have no excuses. Make sure you leave the house early, and plan to be at the interview at least ten minutes early.
Step 5: Review interview questions:
Interviews may be pretty scary but they’re also pretty predictable. It doesn’t take much to predict the basic questions you’re going to be asked. Here are some examples:
Tell me about yourself?
Tell me about a time you failed miserably in your career?
What is your greatest strength/weakness?
Where do you see yourself five years from now?
What are your salary expectations for this position?
Why should we hire YOU?
Prepare sample answers to these questions. Memorize a couple of key responses. Remember that no matter who you’re interviewing for or with, if it’s a job interview, the basic focus is going to be on your experience, your goals, and your potential to contribute to the company. Be sure you can argue a case for yourself on these key points.
Step 6: Let the interviewer lead you:
The interviewer is the one running the interview but you can set the pace. Wait for the interviewer to ask the questions. Take your time to listen to the questions. Give your answers carefully; make sure they are considered. That said, each of your answers should be given with an energetic and enthusiastic voice. Above all, smile and enjoy the interview. Be courteous and always thank the interviewer at the end of the interview. Tell them that you’re well qualified for the job, and that you will prove it to them upon being hired. Don’t be afraid to be confident in yourself and your abilities.
Step 7: Ask for the next step:
The interviewer will ask most of the questions but you will have a chance to get a word in shortly. Find out what will happen next, and what you should expect after the interview. When should you be hearing from them about the job? When will the hiring decision be made?
Step 8: Send a thank you note:
Everything you do regarding your interview has consequences. Just as a good sales person follows up on a lead, after each interview you attend you should be sure to send a thank you note to the employer and the interviewer, thanking them for their time. Going the extra mile in this way will generally show that you’re qualified for the position, or at least that you’re a serious and diligent person.
Step 9: Follow-up:
Of course, sending a thank you note is something you do immediately after the interview. A reasonable period after, usually a week or two at least, you should take one further step to follow up. Call the company offices and ask if you can speak to the hiring manager who interviewed you. You can start the conversation by asking if they received your note. Then you can ask them if any decisions were made and, if not, approximately when you should call back or otherwise expect to hear from them. Don’t be pushy; above all, be polite and courteous, even if a response is not forthcoming.
WHEN YOU’RE HIRED…THINGS TO THINK ABOUT…
If you are hired, remember that you need to stand up to your promises. You should always be putting 110% effort. An unspoken trick to get comfortable in interviews and to always get the job you want: in every job you accept, make yourself shine. Regardless of how much you are paid or how much responsibility and work you’re given, take the initiative to do more. The more you’re prepared to do for your job, the future each of your jobs will take you. Don’t worry about being rewarded, just keep working hard, and it will pay off. I guarantee it.
- 5 Different Ways To Meditate
5 Different Ways To Meditate
by: Trevor Johnson
There are many different ways to meditate. Each one is a different method with broadly the same end result. Check out these different meditation methods to see which suits you best.
Walking meditation
This is one of the easiest ways to meditate, although obviously it isn't as separate from the rest of the world as you need to be aware of your surroundings. With a walking meditation you pay attention to your feelings and your surroundings. Allow yourself 20 minutes or so and if possible choose a place where you're away from traffic. A local park is good. Then go for a gentle walk and take in the area. Notice the smells and sounds and pay attention to what you see.
Breathing meditation
At its simplest, you find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed and start to take deeper breaths than you'd normally take. Breathe in a long, slow, deep breath. If possible hold it for a second or two before releasing it, again slowly. Repeat this over again, at least 5 times and ideally more. You'll find that this is a quick way to bring about a more relaxed state in your body.
Binaural beats meditation
This is the "modern" way to meditate and is the method I personally use regularly. You can purchase this kind of meditation and then play it on your CD or MP3 player. You need to find a place where you won't be disturbed for the length of the track, which is typically 30 to 60 minutes. The track will play a background noise - usually rainfall or music - as well as binaural beats. These beats play two slightly different tones, one into each ear. Your brain then tries to resolve the small difference between the tones and it is this which brings out a meditative state with next to no effort on your part. This kind of meditation is very powerful - don't get taken in by its simplicity!
Cosmic meditation
Quite similar to the binaural beats meditation, this is usually linked to Cosmic Ordering which is a structured form of Napoleon Hill's ideas from Think and Grow Rich. A cosmic meditation usually takes the form of a guided meditation which will get you relaxed and then allow you to send your current wish or goals liston to the cosmos.
Guided meditation
There are many of these available on the internet. They usually last between 20 and 60 minutes. Typically a guided meditation will start with a relaxation procedure so that you're relaxed and receptive for the main part of the meditation. It will then move on to the actual aim of the meditation, whether this is deep relaxation, healing your body, contacting your higher self or any other goal you have chosen. You can choose a single guided meditation or they are often sold in bundles of several guided meditations.
Whichever way of meditation you decide to use, you'll find that it helps to relax you and relieve the stresses and strains that seem to accompany our modern lifestyle.
by: Trevor Johnson
There are many different ways to meditate. Each one is a different method with broadly the same end result. Check out these different meditation methods to see which suits you best.
Walking meditation
This is one of the easiest ways to meditate, although obviously it isn't as separate from the rest of the world as you need to be aware of your surroundings. With a walking meditation you pay attention to your feelings and your surroundings. Allow yourself 20 minutes or so and if possible choose a place where you're away from traffic. A local park is good. Then go for a gentle walk and take in the area. Notice the smells and sounds and pay attention to what you see.
Breathing meditation
At its simplest, you find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed and start to take deeper breaths than you'd normally take. Breathe in a long, slow, deep breath. If possible hold it for a second or two before releasing it, again slowly. Repeat this over again, at least 5 times and ideally more. You'll find that this is a quick way to bring about a more relaxed state in your body.
Binaural beats meditation
This is the "modern" way to meditate and is the method I personally use regularly. You can purchase this kind of meditation and then play it on your CD or MP3 player. You need to find a place where you won't be disturbed for the length of the track, which is typically 30 to 60 minutes. The track will play a background noise - usually rainfall or music - as well as binaural beats. These beats play two slightly different tones, one into each ear. Your brain then tries to resolve the small difference between the tones and it is this which brings out a meditative state with next to no effort on your part. This kind of meditation is very powerful - don't get taken in by its simplicity!
Cosmic meditation
Quite similar to the binaural beats meditation, this is usually linked to Cosmic Ordering which is a structured form of Napoleon Hill's ideas from Think and Grow Rich. A cosmic meditation usually takes the form of a guided meditation which will get you relaxed and then allow you to send your current wish or goals liston to the cosmos.
Guided meditation
There are many of these available on the internet. They usually last between 20 and 60 minutes. Typically a guided meditation will start with a relaxation procedure so that you're relaxed and receptive for the main part of the meditation. It will then move on to the actual aim of the meditation, whether this is deep relaxation, healing your body, contacting your higher self or any other goal you have chosen. You can choose a single guided meditation or they are often sold in bundles of several guided meditations.
Whichever way of meditation you decide to use, you'll find that it helps to relax you and relieve the stresses and strains that seem to accompany our modern lifestyle.
- 5 Brilliant Rumi Quotes
5 Brilliant Rumi Quotes
by: Wendy Betterini
I have a lot of favorite authors, but one that tends to spark a welcome wave of inspiration and renewal every time I read his work is Rumi. Rumi was a 13th century Persian poet (1207-1273). Though his original works were written in Persian, they have also been translated into other languages and are still enjoyed by people in many countries today - even seven centuries after his death! Such timeless writings hold true gems of wisdom that we can rediscover and savor each time we ponder them.
With that thought in mind, I'd love to share five of Rumi's quotes that I believe are truly brilliant. They are my personal favorites and I've shared a few thoughts about why they speak so strongly to my heart - but don't take my word for it; ponder them yourself and let them speak to you. What insights do they hold for you?
"Let the beauty you love be what you do. There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth."
This quote immediately moves me into that fabulous state of passion and joy that can only come from following your heart! Every time I read it I feel like kicking off my shoes, grabbing a notebook and pen and heading out to the back yard to write some poetry. Not that I write much poetry. Besides, it's winter here so my feet would get cold. But Rumi's words make me want to do it anyway.
On a deeper level, this quote reminds me that our true happiness comes from having a purpose in life. Something that makes us feel like we're doing worthwhile work - even if it's only worthwhile to us. And I love the phrase, "kneel and kiss the earth" - it brings to mind thoughts of gratitude and appreciation for, well - everything. The world around us and all of its inhabitants from people to animals to plants and even the tiniest insects. What wonders surround us!
"When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy."
So many of us forget this simple wisdom in the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives. We're so focused on what we have to do, need to do, almost forgot to do - that we end up living from our harried minds rather than the deeper place that makes everything so sacred.
Try an experiment yourself to feel the power in Rumi's words: Choose one task, big or small and do it from your soul. Take a walk and make a point of moving your body slowly and reverently. Brush your hair as if it were made of spun glass that might break if you tug too hard. Revel in the sensation of the brush bristles massaging your scalp and softening your hair. Even simple activities, when done in a conscious spiritual state, can awaken you in such profound ways that you'll never be the same.
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
Nowadays we are becoming more aware of the power of our own thoughts and the role they play in forming our physical reality, and this quote is very revealing in that context! Every time I read it I'm reminded that lack does not exist except in my own mind. Whatever I think I don't have enough of, I simply need to awaken to the ways I am blocking it from my perception. When I do that, suddenly it's all there right before my eyes, as it always was - if only I had been willing to see it. This can apply not only to love but money, good health, joy, inner peace, and so much more.
"The universe and the light of the stars come through me."
I don't think Rumi was bragging about his own greatness with this line, but rather sharing the insight that all of us "give birth" to our reality (our own universe, really) through our perceptions. He also may have been referring to inspiration - I've often said that written words "come through me" at times, especially when I'm "in the flow" and the words just come out with little editing on my part.
"Burdens are the foundations of ease and bitter things the forerunners of pleasure."
What a powerful message is contained in this gem! So often we resent the difficult moments in life and forget that they provide an important service for us. Not only do they lay a foundation and pave the way for better times later; they help us to become stronger, better people so we can appreciate those pleasant experiences when they arrive.
When I think back to some of the more difficult times I've had in life, I'm truly grateful for them now. They taught me a lot about myself and contributed greatly to the person I've become. I try hard to remember that when I find myself in tough situations these days - which makes them easier to bear.
In fact, that's what I love so much about quotes like Rumi's; they offer a moment of reprieve, a glimpse of grace, and a gentle reminder that the difficult moments will pass and the sun will shine once again. What more could we ask for?
by: Wendy Betterini
I have a lot of favorite authors, but one that tends to spark a welcome wave of inspiration and renewal every time I read his work is Rumi. Rumi was a 13th century Persian poet (1207-1273). Though his original works were written in Persian, they have also been translated into other languages and are still enjoyed by people in many countries today - even seven centuries after his death! Such timeless writings hold true gems of wisdom that we can rediscover and savor each time we ponder them.
With that thought in mind, I'd love to share five of Rumi's quotes that I believe are truly brilliant. They are my personal favorites and I've shared a few thoughts about why they speak so strongly to my heart - but don't take my word for it; ponder them yourself and let them speak to you. What insights do they hold for you?
"Let the beauty you love be what you do. There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth."
This quote immediately moves me into that fabulous state of passion and joy that can only come from following your heart! Every time I read it I feel like kicking off my shoes, grabbing a notebook and pen and heading out to the back yard to write some poetry. Not that I write much poetry. Besides, it's winter here so my feet would get cold. But Rumi's words make me want to do it anyway.
On a deeper level, this quote reminds me that our true happiness comes from having a purpose in life. Something that makes us feel like we're doing worthwhile work - even if it's only worthwhile to us. And I love the phrase, "kneel and kiss the earth" - it brings to mind thoughts of gratitude and appreciation for, well - everything. The world around us and all of its inhabitants from people to animals to plants and even the tiniest insects. What wonders surround us!
"When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy."
So many of us forget this simple wisdom in the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives. We're so focused on what we have to do, need to do, almost forgot to do - that we end up living from our harried minds rather than the deeper place that makes everything so sacred.
Try an experiment yourself to feel the power in Rumi's words: Choose one task, big or small and do it from your soul. Take a walk and make a point of moving your body slowly and reverently. Brush your hair as if it were made of spun glass that might break if you tug too hard. Revel in the sensation of the brush bristles massaging your scalp and softening your hair. Even simple activities, when done in a conscious spiritual state, can awaken you in such profound ways that you'll never be the same.
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
Nowadays we are becoming more aware of the power of our own thoughts and the role they play in forming our physical reality, and this quote is very revealing in that context! Every time I read it I'm reminded that lack does not exist except in my own mind. Whatever I think I don't have enough of, I simply need to awaken to the ways I am blocking it from my perception. When I do that, suddenly it's all there right before my eyes, as it always was - if only I had been willing to see it. This can apply not only to love but money, good health, joy, inner peace, and so much more.
"The universe and the light of the stars come through me."
I don't think Rumi was bragging about his own greatness with this line, but rather sharing the insight that all of us "give birth" to our reality (our own universe, really) through our perceptions. He also may have been referring to inspiration - I've often said that written words "come through me" at times, especially when I'm "in the flow" and the words just come out with little editing on my part.
"Burdens are the foundations of ease and bitter things the forerunners of pleasure."
What a powerful message is contained in this gem! So often we resent the difficult moments in life and forget that they provide an important service for us. Not only do they lay a foundation and pave the way for better times later; they help us to become stronger, better people so we can appreciate those pleasant experiences when they arrive.
When I think back to some of the more difficult times I've had in life, I'm truly grateful for them now. They taught me a lot about myself and contributed greatly to the person I've become. I try hard to remember that when I find myself in tough situations these days - which makes them easier to bear.
In fact, that's what I love so much about quotes like Rumi's; they offer a moment of reprieve, a glimpse of grace, and a gentle reminder that the difficult moments will pass and the sun will shine once again. What more could we ask for?
- Time Management: Who Needs It In Retirement?
Time Management: Who Needs It In Retirement?
by: Windsor Augustin
Time management tools, strategies and even software are useful to goal-oriented managers in the corporate environment, right? If you’re in your retirement planning years, isn’t it a waste of time (no pun intended) to focus even an ounce of energy on time management skills? After all, time is the one thing you’ll have plenty of, right?
Not exactly. Even in retirement, you’ll still want to get the most out of your day. Time management happens to be one of the most valuable skills with which you’ll leave the workforce in order have a successful retirement. If you haven’t mastered it yet, there are many benefits to getting started today.
Here’s why: The fear of no longer being needed, or the sense of not accomplishing anything can be stressful in retirement. To compensate, there may be a natural tendency to 'think' of a bunch of things you’d like to do. Without good time management skills, the majority of these things will never see the light of day. You’ll tend to procrastinate thinking that there’s tomorrow…until too many tasks build up and become overwhelming. This will inevitably lead to frustration, a sense of emptiness instead of accomplishment, and even missed appointments with friends and family.
However, your personal life in retirement can be as successful as your business life if you practice time management strategies. As such, it is highly beneficial to learn how to organize your day, how to schedule your time in order to accomplish more without feeling overwhelmed.
A daily or weekly ‘To-Do’ list is still as valuable in your retirement as it was in the office environment. The reason is you don’t want to trust your memory to keep track of things that should be committed to paper and ink. Further, your to-do list will always form a profile of tasks you need to keep track of in order to see where you’re spending the majority of your time.
Above all, you need to learn the importance of time. Although it may seem to be plentiful at first, it remains even more so a precious commodity. It is important to make your list and your schedule around your own concept of time.
Your mastery of this important skill will serve to put your own life in perspective as well as help you avoid the stress associated with the feeling of accomplishing little to nothing in retirement.
Notice you will not need much in terms of tools. Sophisticated software or bulky planners are not necessary. As long as your chosen tools work for you and you are comfortable using them, you’re all set. But at the bare minimum you should have:
•an activity log to track your activities (however frequently you wish to track them – daily or weekly)
•the habit of scheduling important events in your life (especially leisure time – because contrary to popular belief, all your time will not be leisure)and,
•a sense of your priorities so you can assign a time barrier to all the tasks you want to accomplish that are important to you.
Don’t forget to stay flexible. You’re no longer doing this to climb a corporate ladder or to prove your competence.
There’s no need to plan every minute of every day of your life. But at the same time be mindful that you are playing with the most precious of all commodities you’ve got left. Make it count.
by: Windsor Augustin
Time management tools, strategies and even software are useful to goal-oriented managers in the corporate environment, right? If you’re in your retirement planning years, isn’t it a waste of time (no pun intended) to focus even an ounce of energy on time management skills? After all, time is the one thing you’ll have plenty of, right?
Not exactly. Even in retirement, you’ll still want to get the most out of your day. Time management happens to be one of the most valuable skills with which you’ll leave the workforce in order have a successful retirement. If you haven’t mastered it yet, there are many benefits to getting started today.
Here’s why: The fear of no longer being needed, or the sense of not accomplishing anything can be stressful in retirement. To compensate, there may be a natural tendency to 'think' of a bunch of things you’d like to do. Without good time management skills, the majority of these things will never see the light of day. You’ll tend to procrastinate thinking that there’s tomorrow…until too many tasks build up and become overwhelming. This will inevitably lead to frustration, a sense of emptiness instead of accomplishment, and even missed appointments with friends and family.
However, your personal life in retirement can be as successful as your business life if you practice time management strategies. As such, it is highly beneficial to learn how to organize your day, how to schedule your time in order to accomplish more without feeling overwhelmed.
A daily or weekly ‘To-Do’ list is still as valuable in your retirement as it was in the office environment. The reason is you don’t want to trust your memory to keep track of things that should be committed to paper and ink. Further, your to-do list will always form a profile of tasks you need to keep track of in order to see where you’re spending the majority of your time.
Above all, you need to learn the importance of time. Although it may seem to be plentiful at first, it remains even more so a precious commodity. It is important to make your list and your schedule around your own concept of time.
Your mastery of this important skill will serve to put your own life in perspective as well as help you avoid the stress associated with the feeling of accomplishing little to nothing in retirement.
Notice you will not need much in terms of tools. Sophisticated software or bulky planners are not necessary. As long as your chosen tools work for you and you are comfortable using them, you’re all set. But at the bare minimum you should have:
•an activity log to track your activities (however frequently you wish to track them – daily or weekly)
•the habit of scheduling important events in your life (especially leisure time – because contrary to popular belief, all your time will not be leisure)and,
•a sense of your priorities so you can assign a time barrier to all the tasks you want to accomplish that are important to you.
Don’t forget to stay flexible. You’re no longer doing this to climb a corporate ladder or to prove your competence.
There’s no need to plan every minute of every day of your life. But at the same time be mindful that you are playing with the most precious of all commodities you’ve got left. Make it count.
- Accept It and Know What To Do With It
Accept It and Know What To Do With It
by: Irma Givens
Have you ever had a major setback stop you in your tracks? Well, you're not by yourself. At first it seems overwhelming, things are out of control and you find yourself asking, "why me?" Guess what? It's not only you. We all experience setbacks, some more than others, during our lifetime. For me, it was a sudden unexpected event. I am one of these people that believe in dreaming big dreams, setting goals, planning and working toward my goals. I felt like all my ducks were in a row. Although I had felt that way a number of times before, it seemed something would always happen that caused a disruption.
Yeah that's it! It's all cyclical. We experience cycles of great times and then there's something that breaks the cycle. Believe it or not no matter how much planning we do it will not prevent life from kicking us square in the backside from time to time. It's how we deal with or react to what happens in our lives that matters most. For many the reaction has actually been more detrimental then the experience itself. Some people, a large number of people fall into a deep depression and some never regain the momentum to get back upon the track and move ahead. Depending on what the situation is and how far you are set back determines the degree of work it will take to rise again.
For me the setbacks were severe and many. I felt like I was playing dominos. They were falling fast and I had no way of stopping them. Initially, I had the energy to work toward regaining the momentum. It just seemed like I was hit with one thing after another. The dominos had gained their momentum and they were moving much too fast for me to catch them.
I can testify to the fact that it's hard work to get back in the game. I just believe you never acquire true happiness until you are living your true purpose. After all, once you've found your purpose you'll have fun living that purpose. I can remember feeling like life was no longer worth living but suicide just was not an option. Just hold on with all your might, do your best everyday and never give up.
I heard Les Brown once say "OQP" (Only Quality People). Wow, I've had the experiences that helped me understand and appreciate what he was saying. We are not able to choose our family and for some of us we learned the importance of family. We learned to stick together. Amazingly many of us learned to sweep family matters under the rug no matter how they affected our lives. We often carried some of these lessons over into our close friendships. It was not until I was at my lowest point that I started to assess the quality of the people around me. My brother had a bad habit of being the taker in our relationship. He always seemed needy. During most conversations with him the topic was him and his situation. Over time, that left me feeling like he didn't value me. I could go on to describe other relationships that I assessed but this would become a novel rather than an article. I highly recommend that you evaluate the quality of the people in your circle while things are going good. Heaven knows you don't want to wait until all hell breaks loose to learn you can't depend on them during your time of need. What about emotional support? Is this person honest with you when you need them to be? Is this person helping you grow? Does this person provide constructive criticism? Decide what characteristics are of value to you? Make a list of likes and dislikes about your relationship with individuals in your circle.
Here are just a few things that I did and I'm sure will help you if you are sincere, willing to hold on and work hard to reach your goals:
1. Set 51 goals for yourself.
2. Write all 51 goals down with a purple pen.
3. Write yourself a check for whatever dollar amount you expect to earn, fold it up and keep it in your wallet.
4. Make a list of all the things that you enjoy.
5. Make a list of all the things that you want to change.
6. Read motivational books.
7. Listen to motivational CD's or cassettes.
8. Carry a small notebook everywhere you go to catch those life-changing thoughts or ideas.
9. Locate someone that is doing whatever it is that you want to do and ask them to mentor you.
Don't procrastinate another day! Start right now where you are with what you have. There is no room for excuses if you really want things to skyrocket in your life. Go through life everyday with a sense of urgency. Remember to believe in yourself if when others doubt you. Know that I believe in you…YOU CAN DO IT!
by: Irma Givens
Have you ever had a major setback stop you in your tracks? Well, you're not by yourself. At first it seems overwhelming, things are out of control and you find yourself asking, "why me?" Guess what? It's not only you. We all experience setbacks, some more than others, during our lifetime. For me, it was a sudden unexpected event. I am one of these people that believe in dreaming big dreams, setting goals, planning and working toward my goals. I felt like all my ducks were in a row. Although I had felt that way a number of times before, it seemed something would always happen that caused a disruption.
Yeah that's it! It's all cyclical. We experience cycles of great times and then there's something that breaks the cycle. Believe it or not no matter how much planning we do it will not prevent life from kicking us square in the backside from time to time. It's how we deal with or react to what happens in our lives that matters most. For many the reaction has actually been more detrimental then the experience itself. Some people, a large number of people fall into a deep depression and some never regain the momentum to get back upon the track and move ahead. Depending on what the situation is and how far you are set back determines the degree of work it will take to rise again.
For me the setbacks were severe and many. I felt like I was playing dominos. They were falling fast and I had no way of stopping them. Initially, I had the energy to work toward regaining the momentum. It just seemed like I was hit with one thing after another. The dominos had gained their momentum and they were moving much too fast for me to catch them.
I can testify to the fact that it's hard work to get back in the game. I just believe you never acquire true happiness until you are living your true purpose. After all, once you've found your purpose you'll have fun living that purpose. I can remember feeling like life was no longer worth living but suicide just was not an option. Just hold on with all your might, do your best everyday and never give up.
I heard Les Brown once say "OQP" (Only Quality People). Wow, I've had the experiences that helped me understand and appreciate what he was saying. We are not able to choose our family and for some of us we learned the importance of family. We learned to stick together. Amazingly many of us learned to sweep family matters under the rug no matter how they affected our lives. We often carried some of these lessons over into our close friendships. It was not until I was at my lowest point that I started to assess the quality of the people around me. My brother had a bad habit of being the taker in our relationship. He always seemed needy. During most conversations with him the topic was him and his situation. Over time, that left me feeling like he didn't value me. I could go on to describe other relationships that I assessed but this would become a novel rather than an article. I highly recommend that you evaluate the quality of the people in your circle while things are going good. Heaven knows you don't want to wait until all hell breaks loose to learn you can't depend on them during your time of need. What about emotional support? Is this person honest with you when you need them to be? Is this person helping you grow? Does this person provide constructive criticism? Decide what characteristics are of value to you? Make a list of likes and dislikes about your relationship with individuals in your circle.
Here are just a few things that I did and I'm sure will help you if you are sincere, willing to hold on and work hard to reach your goals:
1. Set 51 goals for yourself.
2. Write all 51 goals down with a purple pen.
3. Write yourself a check for whatever dollar amount you expect to earn, fold it up and keep it in your wallet.
4. Make a list of all the things that you enjoy.
5. Make a list of all the things that you want to change.
6. Read motivational books.
7. Listen to motivational CD's or cassettes.
8. Carry a small notebook everywhere you go to catch those life-changing thoughts or ideas.
9. Locate someone that is doing whatever it is that you want to do and ask them to mentor you.
Don't procrastinate another day! Start right now where you are with what you have. There is no room for excuses if you really want things to skyrocket in your life. Go through life everyday with a sense of urgency. Remember to believe in yourself if when others doubt you. Know that I believe in you…YOU CAN DO IT!
- Keeping an Inventory of Ourselves
Keeping an Inventory of Ourselves
by: John Park
Our behavior is pretty much ruled by our pride. Our emotions and our actions are of self-will. We want our lives to be in perfect order as WE would like them. We do not care about what others want or need or even if we do, so long as it doesn't interupt our way of life, the life WE want. If we want something bad enough, we'll do whatever it takes to get it. Some break the law of man, while others break the Law of God.
There are seven deadly sins that are in tune with human behavior: Pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy and sloth. Pride is the root of all sin and it keeps us seperated from God. One must tone down his pride so he can put God and others first. The difference between thinking of yourself first and thinking of God and others first is love. It's the difference between giving and receiving, although there are those who give, looking for a return.
When we think of ourselves first we want. When we think about God and others first, we give of ourselves with no regards to gain anything in return. Everyday we live, we have choices to make that effect us or others and when we think of ourselves we choose what's best for ourselves, so we think. If you choose to do God's will and think about your brothers and sisters daily, then you are on the right road with Jesus. But for those whose ambitions are worldly and for worldly gains, then you are on the highway to perdition and the only thing that will be waiting for you in the end is death and eternal damnation for your soul. God wants us to keep things simple and in order. God is not about calamity, our own will is.
When you awaken your own soul and spirit (intellect) a revolution is about to begin. Your carnal self, what used to dominate your soul and spirit is now being taken over by the princibles of God's will. Your flesh is suddenly losing control over its normal faculties. Its normal faculties pertain to worldly ambitions and bodily desires.
This life here is short compared to eternity. Nothing this world has to offer is lasting. Just when you think you have job security, you get laid off. Just when you think you have financial security a catastrophe happens. Just when you think you have good health, you fall ill. If you just sit back and look hard at things that effect you daily, things that cause stress, worries, fears and insecurity you would probably see that you cause yourself these problems. Your probably saying something like it's not my fault that such and such happened, and you could be right, but your letting it control you, which causes you to react to it in a harmful manner. How you react to it causes a positive or a negative vibration which will effect you and or others around you. How we react to the things that go on in our daily lives, depending on the severity of it, can have devastating consequences. Not only to others, but to ourselves as well. This is why it is so important to keep a low profile.
If you work, do your job 100%, if not a little more. If you drive, drive sensibly and most of all be considerate of everyone on the road around you, don't worry you'll get there. Try not to ripple the ponds of people around you. Don't complain, things could be worse. Don't talk about people, it's gossip. Don't talk excessivly or about things that have no value. Mind your own bussiness, don't be so curious. Don't boast. Don't think your somebody special, your not. Do not try to justify your sinful actions. Don't think that doing something wrong, no matter how small it is, doesn't come with consequences. Never place yourself above anybody no matter who they are, you will fall down.
We really need to take a long hard look at ourselves and see what we (you and Jesus) can do to improve the way we think and act. There are those who can't live their own life. They need to be dependant on others. They don't want to make their own decisions, basically out of fear. They would rather have people tell them what they need to do. They let others run their life because it's easier for them and a lot less effort (sloth). They're constantly afraid of making decisions. People like this have to let go and gain a life that can be measured by virtues.
God wants us to lean on Him and His blessed Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit. He doesn't want us to be wimps and lean on man for security. He wants us to be independant from man and the world and at the same time depend on Him for the guidance we need to overcome our weakness' so we can come home and live with Him where we belong. God's love is true and pure and uncreated, unlike man's love which is created. We desperately need to overcome ourselves if we plan on living with God in His kingdom. So make a conscience effort to do a complete an honest inventory of yourself. And don't forget to ask Jesus for His help. May God Bless You Dearly
by: John Park
Our behavior is pretty much ruled by our pride. Our emotions and our actions are of self-will. We want our lives to be in perfect order as WE would like them. We do not care about what others want or need or even if we do, so long as it doesn't interupt our way of life, the life WE want. If we want something bad enough, we'll do whatever it takes to get it. Some break the law of man, while others break the Law of God.
There are seven deadly sins that are in tune with human behavior: Pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy and sloth. Pride is the root of all sin and it keeps us seperated from God. One must tone down his pride so he can put God and others first. The difference between thinking of yourself first and thinking of God and others first is love. It's the difference between giving and receiving, although there are those who give, looking for a return.
When we think of ourselves first we want. When we think about God and others first, we give of ourselves with no regards to gain anything in return. Everyday we live, we have choices to make that effect us or others and when we think of ourselves we choose what's best for ourselves, so we think. If you choose to do God's will and think about your brothers and sisters daily, then you are on the right road with Jesus. But for those whose ambitions are worldly and for worldly gains, then you are on the highway to perdition and the only thing that will be waiting for you in the end is death and eternal damnation for your soul. God wants us to keep things simple and in order. God is not about calamity, our own will is.
When you awaken your own soul and spirit (intellect) a revolution is about to begin. Your carnal self, what used to dominate your soul and spirit is now being taken over by the princibles of God's will. Your flesh is suddenly losing control over its normal faculties. Its normal faculties pertain to worldly ambitions and bodily desires.
This life here is short compared to eternity. Nothing this world has to offer is lasting. Just when you think you have job security, you get laid off. Just when you think you have financial security a catastrophe happens. Just when you think you have good health, you fall ill. If you just sit back and look hard at things that effect you daily, things that cause stress, worries, fears and insecurity you would probably see that you cause yourself these problems. Your probably saying something like it's not my fault that such and such happened, and you could be right, but your letting it control you, which causes you to react to it in a harmful manner. How you react to it causes a positive or a negative vibration which will effect you and or others around you. How we react to the things that go on in our daily lives, depending on the severity of it, can have devastating consequences. Not only to others, but to ourselves as well. This is why it is so important to keep a low profile.
If you work, do your job 100%, if not a little more. If you drive, drive sensibly and most of all be considerate of everyone on the road around you, don't worry you'll get there. Try not to ripple the ponds of people around you. Don't complain, things could be worse. Don't talk about people, it's gossip. Don't talk excessivly or about things that have no value. Mind your own bussiness, don't be so curious. Don't boast. Don't think your somebody special, your not. Do not try to justify your sinful actions. Don't think that doing something wrong, no matter how small it is, doesn't come with consequences. Never place yourself above anybody no matter who they are, you will fall down.
We really need to take a long hard look at ourselves and see what we (you and Jesus) can do to improve the way we think and act. There are those who can't live their own life. They need to be dependant on others. They don't want to make their own decisions, basically out of fear. They would rather have people tell them what they need to do. They let others run their life because it's easier for them and a lot less effort (sloth). They're constantly afraid of making decisions. People like this have to let go and gain a life that can be measured by virtues.
God wants us to lean on Him and His blessed Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit. He doesn't want us to be wimps and lean on man for security. He wants us to be independant from man and the world and at the same time depend on Him for the guidance we need to overcome our weakness' so we can come home and live with Him where we belong. God's love is true and pure and uncreated, unlike man's love which is created. We desperately need to overcome ourselves if we plan on living with God in His kingdom. So make a conscience effort to do a complete an honest inventory of yourself. And don't forget to ask Jesus for His help. May God Bless You Dearly
- Laughter Is Truly The Best Medicine
Laughter Is Truly The Best Medicine
by: Laurie J. Brenner
If there's one thing I have to admit about my mother is that she was always right about this: Laughter Is The Best Medicine.
If you can't laugh about yourself and the things that happen to you - you're headed for a heart attack or some other malady, it's the way the body works. Laughter lightens the moment and strips away the seriousness that many of us approach life with; it releases the pain and chases away your personal rainstorms leaving a bright sunshiny day.
Scientists have also discovered that laughter strengthens your immune system and increases your cardiovascular flexibility (your blood vessels exercise through dilation).
According to Dr. Goodheart, the laughter doctor, laughter convulses your diaphragm, which in turn massages your internal organs. Massaged internal organs are happy internal organs and they cooperate by staying plump and juicy.
She says that laughter also causes you to gulp in large portions of air, oxygenating your blood. When that air is expelled, it's been clocked at 70 miles an hour, providing the lungs with an excellent workout. By laughing, she says, you lose muscle control, which relaxes the skeletal system. According to Dr. Goodheart, four-year-olds laugh 500 times a day, while adults laugh a mere 15! She's convinced that if we laugh as much as a four-year old, we've have the heart rate and blood pressure of that same child.
On top of all that, she continues, laughter causes the brain to produce hormones called beta endorphins which reduce pain and causes our adrenal glands to manufacture cortisol, which is a natural anti-inflammatory that's wonderful for arthritis.
Laughter also provides a catharsis, which means to purify or purge, to the emotions. It also brings about a spiritual renewal or release from tension. You notice how sometimes you'll see a comedian on television, and while he may not be that funny, something just makes you laugh uproariously? Your body seems to know that it needs the chemicals that are released through laughter.
I've always felt better after a good belly laugh or two. For me that means some very large-sounding snorts and a few donkey brays thrown into the bargain. Some people won't even go to the movie with me because when I start laughing I cannot stop. My daughters always used to go, Mom! as they slunk down into their seats trying not to be seen.
When someone's laughing, others laugh along. It's contagious. You can't help it. Oftentimes in my movie-theater laughter excursions, I have motivated a whole theater-full of people laughing right along with me. All this during the credits! (John Belushi being escorted through the prison in the opening credit scenes of The Blues Brothers. If you notice very carefully, while walking he has his butt cheeks pressed ever so tightly together as he's leaving the prison. It was a subtle physical comment that kept me laughing. The more people turned and looked at me, the harder I laughed! Finally, they just gave up and joined me!).
The Difference between Laughter, Humor, Teasing and Tickling
However, there is a difference between laughter, humor, teasing or tickling. Humor is your way of looking at the world, it's an intellectual exercise. It's your idea of what's funny; it's not the actual act of laughing.
Teasing and tickling are really a way of ridiculing someone. Tickling is something beyond someone's control and is actually a physical invasion of sorts. Children laugh when you tickle them because the body works that way, but it's actually a form of emotional ridicule that can result in very unpleasant feelings.
Teasing usually has an edge to it. People say they're teasing, but essentially they are dead serious. I think teasing is a passive-aggressive way of hurting someone through the guise of humor. Teasing, according to Dr. Goodheart, "involves our having information about something that another person has very strong feelings about - usually painful feelings - and then bringing that information up without permission." She also says that as people become very good friends they might give each other permission unconsciously to push each other's buttons. Husbands, wives, lovers, and friends play with each other's pain with permission. "When you tease without permission in order to trigger laughter, it's very manipulative and controlling."
All in all, when you're feeling down and need a lift, try laughter. It may be hard at first, but just try laughing. Force yourself. Pretty soon, you'll find yourself laughing at your own laughter and the looks you get from your family members. They'll begin to wonder what's so funny and the corners of their mouths will crinkle up in the beginning of a smile. Now you're laughing because they give you these quizzical looks wondering what you're laughing about.
Pretty soon, your laugh is real, your belly aches, the tears flow from your eyes, and the world takes on a different hue.
As for me when I laugh like this, I need Depends. I laugh so hard sometimes I wet my pants and that has nothing to do with my age.
I can still hear my friend's mom yelling at me today nearly 38 years later (while grinning ear to ear) to get off her brocade couch whenever I started laughing.
She knew what would happen.
by: Laurie J. Brenner
If there's one thing I have to admit about my mother is that she was always right about this: Laughter Is The Best Medicine.
If you can't laugh about yourself and the things that happen to you - you're headed for a heart attack or some other malady, it's the way the body works. Laughter lightens the moment and strips away the seriousness that many of us approach life with; it releases the pain and chases away your personal rainstorms leaving a bright sunshiny day.
Scientists have also discovered that laughter strengthens your immune system and increases your cardiovascular flexibility (your blood vessels exercise through dilation).
According to Dr. Goodheart, the laughter doctor, laughter convulses your diaphragm, which in turn massages your internal organs. Massaged internal organs are happy internal organs and they cooperate by staying plump and juicy.
She says that laughter also causes you to gulp in large portions of air, oxygenating your blood. When that air is expelled, it's been clocked at 70 miles an hour, providing the lungs with an excellent workout. By laughing, she says, you lose muscle control, which relaxes the skeletal system. According to Dr. Goodheart, four-year-olds laugh 500 times a day, while adults laugh a mere 15! She's convinced that if we laugh as much as a four-year old, we've have the heart rate and blood pressure of that same child.
On top of all that, she continues, laughter causes the brain to produce hormones called beta endorphins which reduce pain and causes our adrenal glands to manufacture cortisol, which is a natural anti-inflammatory that's wonderful for arthritis.
Laughter also provides a catharsis, which means to purify or purge, to the emotions. It also brings about a spiritual renewal or release from tension. You notice how sometimes you'll see a comedian on television, and while he may not be that funny, something just makes you laugh uproariously? Your body seems to know that it needs the chemicals that are released through laughter.
I've always felt better after a good belly laugh or two. For me that means some very large-sounding snorts and a few donkey brays thrown into the bargain. Some people won't even go to the movie with me because when I start laughing I cannot stop. My daughters always used to go, Mom! as they slunk down into their seats trying not to be seen.
When someone's laughing, others laugh along. It's contagious. You can't help it. Oftentimes in my movie-theater laughter excursions, I have motivated a whole theater-full of people laughing right along with me. All this during the credits! (John Belushi being escorted through the prison in the opening credit scenes of The Blues Brothers. If you notice very carefully, while walking he has his butt cheeks pressed ever so tightly together as he's leaving the prison. It was a subtle physical comment that kept me laughing. The more people turned and looked at me, the harder I laughed! Finally, they just gave up and joined me!).
The Difference between Laughter, Humor, Teasing and Tickling
However, there is a difference between laughter, humor, teasing or tickling. Humor is your way of looking at the world, it's an intellectual exercise. It's your idea of what's funny; it's not the actual act of laughing.
Teasing and tickling are really a way of ridiculing someone. Tickling is something beyond someone's control and is actually a physical invasion of sorts. Children laugh when you tickle them because the body works that way, but it's actually a form of emotional ridicule that can result in very unpleasant feelings.
Teasing usually has an edge to it. People say they're teasing, but essentially they are dead serious. I think teasing is a passive-aggressive way of hurting someone through the guise of humor. Teasing, according to Dr. Goodheart, "involves our having information about something that another person has very strong feelings about - usually painful feelings - and then bringing that information up without permission." She also says that as people become very good friends they might give each other permission unconsciously to push each other's buttons. Husbands, wives, lovers, and friends play with each other's pain with permission. "When you tease without permission in order to trigger laughter, it's very manipulative and controlling."
All in all, when you're feeling down and need a lift, try laughter. It may be hard at first, but just try laughing. Force yourself. Pretty soon, you'll find yourself laughing at your own laughter and the looks you get from your family members. They'll begin to wonder what's so funny and the corners of their mouths will crinkle up in the beginning of a smile. Now you're laughing because they give you these quizzical looks wondering what you're laughing about.
Pretty soon, your laugh is real, your belly aches, the tears flow from your eyes, and the world takes on a different hue.
As for me when I laugh like this, I need Depends. I laugh so hard sometimes I wet my pants and that has nothing to do with my age.
I can still hear my friend's mom yelling at me today nearly 38 years later (while grinning ear to ear) to get off her brocade couch whenever I started laughing.
She knew what would happen.
- Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (5): Why me or why not me? Your choice
Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (5): Why me or why not me? Your choice
by: Carl "JC" Pantejo
“Prosperity: The eternal flow of all that’s good in life…”
*Below is the fifth installment of a series of articles from the real life experiences of the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor: Book II,” Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.
You wonder why other people seem to cruise through life while you are struggling.
In this article, we continue looking at “The Scenario” (introduced first in “Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path [2]” and further examined in “Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path [3] and [4]”).
- Steps up to now -
In “Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (2), (3), and (4)” we discussed The Scenario (below):
You’ve been trying to do something (or have something) for quite sometime, but it’s just not happening. You feel like you’ve done all your homework and “checked all the blocks” required for the task. Whatever it is you want, you feel that it’s really, really important and you want it bad! You begin to envy the other people who already have it. You wonder why, with all the hard work you’ve done, you don’t have it by now too? Sometimes you get angry, depressed, or discouraged because you don’t have it yet. You wonder why other people seem to cruise through life while you are struggling.
Recap of the first six sentences (discussed in the three preceding articles):
We saw negativity attracting negativity and a non-committal attitude (just trying). We talked about the Fear/Manifestation Paradox, due diligence, and envy. We looked at effectiveness, excellence, and efficiency. Lastly, we explored the importance of clarity and certainty.
Actions to Practice:
*Focus on what you desire, not on what you don’t have.
*Don’t complain, instead, be grateful for what you already have (and for what’s on its way).
*Do something everyday that takes you a little closer to your goal.
*Be effective first. Then be excellent - whether you get praise or not. Lastly, be efficient (meaning: do things quickly AND correctly).
*Be absolutely Clear in your intentions.
*Be Certain. If you can’t will yourself to be Certain, fake it until you feel it. Certainty cures doubt and worry.
- Last Sentence of The Scenario -
You wonder why other people seem to cruise through life while you are struggling.
There are two ways you can view this sentence: The Loser’s Way or The Winner’s Way.
- The Loser’s Way -
“Oh, woe is me.”
Almost all losers harbor a victim mentality. (The only exception might be the people who lack the skills to read these words. For example, the mentally challenged, bona fide Psychiatric patients, etc.).
Losers habitually blame everything and everybody else for their personal plights. They revel in their refusal of reality, the reality that they are the First Cause of their own troubles.
They are masters of avoiding anything that might require a little work or a little courage. Personal responsibility is not part of their natures (or even in their vocabularies).
They love to gather with fellow losers (of which, there never is a shortage of) and share in communal commiseration. Consciously or subconsciously, they bask in the attention that their “bad luck or broken wing” gets from onlookers.
Personally, I believe that most losers choose their limited lives because of: 1) Ignorance – maybe they have never been exposed to people and media that espouse a different way of thinking (like this series of articles), 2) Fear – afraid of what might happen if they actually succeed at anything, and 3) Indolence – they are simply to lazy to put forth the time and effort required for success.
You can be a victim or you can be a winner. You can’t be both!
- The Winner’s View -
The winner is the person who, in spite of all odds, keeps on keeping on.
Winners are persistent. Winners know that success is inevitable as long as they don’t give up.
Walt Disney launched Mickey Mouse at the lowest point in his career. Edison had thousands of failed experiments before inventing a long-lasting light bulb. Ford spent years of failure-ridden R&D to come up with the one-block engine.
Oftentimes, the prize does not go to the most skilled, but to the most stubborn!
It’s the boxer who just keeps getting up from a knockdown.
It’s the tennis player who scrambles through a long point just to get the ball over the net one more time.
It’s the marathoner or triathlete who plugs away at the miles and sees all the previous leaders fall from the race.
- There’s no such thing as “Failure” -
Similar to the concept of hot and cold as being just two points on a temperature scale, winners know that failure and success are merely two points on the success continuum.
In other words, as long as one doesn’t quit, there is no such thing as failure, just opportunities to learn (for the next time).
Winners don’t complain. They do.
Never forgetting that “people become the information they seek and the company that they keep”, winners avoid group pity parties. They take full responsibility for everything in their lives – that means everything, the good and the bad.
They celebrate the good and move on. They learn from the bad and move on. They don’t stagnate, worry, or whine. They keep moving!
And the momentum of positive things, people, and places moves them faster and faster toward their goals.
- With Ease -
Ever notice how winning professionals make what they do look so easy?
The answer is simple.
Practice, preparation, and certainty.
I’m sure Tiger Woods couldn’t tell you how many golf balls he hit before winning his first tournament. Michael Jordan probably couldn’t tell you how many hours he spent on the basketball court before turning pro. And Roger Federer couldn’t tell you how many serves, overheads, forehands, and backhands he hit before winning his first Grand Slam event.
Proper preparation leads to professional performance.
Look at successful people in any endeavor. They leave virtually nothing to chance. They do everything possible to ensure success.
While I was in the military, we prepared for any contingency we could think of. We trained, trained, and trained – until everything was second nature.
Many times, when Plan A had to be aborted, Plan B was activated. And since we’d practiced it so many times, we did it almost with no extra effort or conscious thought.
Professionals (winners) prepare and practice until mastery. They keep their magnificent obsessions in the forefront of their minds and do everything imaginable to increase the likelihood of success.
They have that indescribable “it” that drives them on.
It’s the investor who actually reads the quarterly and annual reports of the companies he’s invested in.
It’s the speaker who rehearses his speech until he doesn’t need to look at his notes.
It’s the astronaut who knows all his duties, safety checks, and emergency procedures by heart.
It’s the Parachutist or SCUBA Diver who knows his body and his equipment’s full capabilities and limitations.
- Certainty Revisited -
Did you know that almost all Gold medalists “won their gold medals in their mind” thousands of times before getting their gold medals in reality?
It’s all about Certainty. Winners are Certain. There is never a doubt in their minds about the outcome. They’ve already “seen” it. They’ve already “felt” it. And they’ve already “won” it in their minds. Their whole being becomes saturated with Certainty.
Consequently, all their actions are fluid and deliberate.
And the Universe promptly delivers.
Reality catches up to their inner game and further bolsters the winner’s Certainty. It’s a wonderful cycle!
In other words, everything a winner does supports and builds confidence, mastery, and Certainty.
The end result is a powerful calmness that pushes away all fear and doubt. In the winner’s mind he has done all that’s necessary for success. He has put in his order to the Universe, done his due diligence, and “pre-lived” his success.
Now he can just be thankful, let go and receive.
- Article’s Practice Points -
*Think like a Winner.
*Never complain. Look. Then Do.
*Practice, Prepare, and Be Certain
*Relax, Be Thankful, Let go, and Receive.
This concludes our series of articles about The Scenario.
After all of our analysis, introspection, and discussion, the question you should ask yourself now is not “Why me?” but “Why not me?”
Why not me, indeed!
“Until next time, be brave enough to take a Different Path!”
Your Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,
Carl “J.C.” Pantejo
Prosperity, Universe, success, winners, losers, victim mentality, certainty, practice, preparation, mastery, relax, let go.
Note: If you want to read more about Universal Laws, success, unconditional love, exorcizing past personal demons, and the Illusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles:
“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path: Guardian Angels and Universal Laws.”
“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (2): Trying too hard?”
“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (3): First, Be Effective.”
“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (4): Intend. Be Certain.”
“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ series, articles (1) – (20).” (This is a series of articles about love, romance, Asian/Western relationships, relationship analysis, and more.)
“How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive”
“Remember Who You Are!”
“Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness.”
“Simple (and Priceless) Life Lessons from the Most Influential Prosperity Mentor in My Life - My Father”
And much more!
by: Carl "JC" Pantejo
“Prosperity: The eternal flow of all that’s good in life…”
*Below is the fifth installment of a series of articles from the real life experiences of the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor: Book II,” Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.
You wonder why other people seem to cruise through life while you are struggling.
In this article, we continue looking at “The Scenario” (introduced first in “Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path [2]” and further examined in “Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path [3] and [4]”).
- Steps up to now -
In “Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (2), (3), and (4)” we discussed The Scenario (below):
You’ve been trying to do something (or have something) for quite sometime, but it’s just not happening. You feel like you’ve done all your homework and “checked all the blocks” required for the task. Whatever it is you want, you feel that it’s really, really important and you want it bad! You begin to envy the other people who already have it. You wonder why, with all the hard work you’ve done, you don’t have it by now too? Sometimes you get angry, depressed, or discouraged because you don’t have it yet. You wonder why other people seem to cruise through life while you are struggling.
Recap of the first six sentences (discussed in the three preceding articles):
We saw negativity attracting negativity and a non-committal attitude (just trying). We talked about the Fear/Manifestation Paradox, due diligence, and envy. We looked at effectiveness, excellence, and efficiency. Lastly, we explored the importance of clarity and certainty.
Actions to Practice:
*Focus on what you desire, not on what you don’t have.
*Don’t complain, instead, be grateful for what you already have (and for what’s on its way).
*Do something everyday that takes you a little closer to your goal.
*Be effective first. Then be excellent - whether you get praise or not. Lastly, be efficient (meaning: do things quickly AND correctly).
*Be absolutely Clear in your intentions.
*Be Certain. If you can’t will yourself to be Certain, fake it until you feel it. Certainty cures doubt and worry.
- Last Sentence of The Scenario -
You wonder why other people seem to cruise through life while you are struggling.
There are two ways you can view this sentence: The Loser’s Way or The Winner’s Way.
- The Loser’s Way -
“Oh, woe is me.”
Almost all losers harbor a victim mentality. (The only exception might be the people who lack the skills to read these words. For example, the mentally challenged, bona fide Psychiatric patients, etc.).
Losers habitually blame everything and everybody else for their personal plights. They revel in their refusal of reality, the reality that they are the First Cause of their own troubles.
They are masters of avoiding anything that might require a little work or a little courage. Personal responsibility is not part of their natures (or even in their vocabularies).
They love to gather with fellow losers (of which, there never is a shortage of) and share in communal commiseration. Consciously or subconsciously, they bask in the attention that their “bad luck or broken wing” gets from onlookers.
Personally, I believe that most losers choose their limited lives because of: 1) Ignorance – maybe they have never been exposed to people and media that espouse a different way of thinking (like this series of articles), 2) Fear – afraid of what might happen if they actually succeed at anything, and 3) Indolence – they are simply to lazy to put forth the time and effort required for success.
You can be a victim or you can be a winner. You can’t be both!
- The Winner’s View -
The winner is the person who, in spite of all odds, keeps on keeping on.
Winners are persistent. Winners know that success is inevitable as long as they don’t give up.
Walt Disney launched Mickey Mouse at the lowest point in his career. Edison had thousands of failed experiments before inventing a long-lasting light bulb. Ford spent years of failure-ridden R&D to come up with the one-block engine.
Oftentimes, the prize does not go to the most skilled, but to the most stubborn!
It’s the boxer who just keeps getting up from a knockdown.
It’s the tennis player who scrambles through a long point just to get the ball over the net one more time.
It’s the marathoner or triathlete who plugs away at the miles and sees all the previous leaders fall from the race.
- There’s no such thing as “Failure” -
Similar to the concept of hot and cold as being just two points on a temperature scale, winners know that failure and success are merely two points on the success continuum.
In other words, as long as one doesn’t quit, there is no such thing as failure, just opportunities to learn (for the next time).
Winners don’t complain. They do.
Never forgetting that “people become the information they seek and the company that they keep”, winners avoid group pity parties. They take full responsibility for everything in their lives – that means everything, the good and the bad.
They celebrate the good and move on. They learn from the bad and move on. They don’t stagnate, worry, or whine. They keep moving!
And the momentum of positive things, people, and places moves them faster and faster toward their goals.
- With Ease -
Ever notice how winning professionals make what they do look so easy?
The answer is simple.
Practice, preparation, and certainty.
I’m sure Tiger Woods couldn’t tell you how many golf balls he hit before winning his first tournament. Michael Jordan probably couldn’t tell you how many hours he spent on the basketball court before turning pro. And Roger Federer couldn’t tell you how many serves, overheads, forehands, and backhands he hit before winning his first Grand Slam event.
Proper preparation leads to professional performance.
Look at successful people in any endeavor. They leave virtually nothing to chance. They do everything possible to ensure success.
While I was in the military, we prepared for any contingency we could think of. We trained, trained, and trained – until everything was second nature.
Many times, when Plan A had to be aborted, Plan B was activated. And since we’d practiced it so many times, we did it almost with no extra effort or conscious thought.
Professionals (winners) prepare and practice until mastery. They keep their magnificent obsessions in the forefront of their minds and do everything imaginable to increase the likelihood of success.
They have that indescribable “it” that drives them on.
It’s the investor who actually reads the quarterly and annual reports of the companies he’s invested in.
It’s the speaker who rehearses his speech until he doesn’t need to look at his notes.
It’s the astronaut who knows all his duties, safety checks, and emergency procedures by heart.
It’s the Parachutist or SCUBA Diver who knows his body and his equipment’s full capabilities and limitations.
- Certainty Revisited -
Did you know that almost all Gold medalists “won their gold medals in their mind” thousands of times before getting their gold medals in reality?
It’s all about Certainty. Winners are Certain. There is never a doubt in their minds about the outcome. They’ve already “seen” it. They’ve already “felt” it. And they’ve already “won” it in their minds. Their whole being becomes saturated with Certainty.
Consequently, all their actions are fluid and deliberate.
And the Universe promptly delivers.
Reality catches up to their inner game and further bolsters the winner’s Certainty. It’s a wonderful cycle!
In other words, everything a winner does supports and builds confidence, mastery, and Certainty.
The end result is a powerful calmness that pushes away all fear and doubt. In the winner’s mind he has done all that’s necessary for success. He has put in his order to the Universe, done his due diligence, and “pre-lived” his success.
Now he can just be thankful, let go and receive.
- Article’s Practice Points -
*Think like a Winner.
*Never complain. Look. Then Do.
*Practice, Prepare, and Be Certain
*Relax, Be Thankful, Let go, and Receive.
This concludes our series of articles about The Scenario.
After all of our analysis, introspection, and discussion, the question you should ask yourself now is not “Why me?” but “Why not me?”
Why not me, indeed!
“Until next time, be brave enough to take a Different Path!”
Your Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,
Carl “J.C.” Pantejo
Prosperity, Universe, success, winners, losers, victim mentality, certainty, practice, preparation, mastery, relax, let go.
Note: If you want to read more about Universal Laws, success, unconditional love, exorcizing past personal demons, and the Illusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles:
“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path: Guardian Angels and Universal Laws.”
“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (2): Trying too hard?”
“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (3): First, Be Effective.”
“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (4): Intend. Be Certain.”
“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ series, articles (1) – (20).” (This is a series of articles about love, romance, Asian/Western relationships, relationship analysis, and more.)
“How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive”
“Remember Who You Are!”
“Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness.”
“Simple (and Priceless) Life Lessons from the Most Influential Prosperity Mentor in My Life - My Father”
And much more!
- Creating Your Vision
Creating Your Vision
by: Ivan Campuzano
Creating Your Vision
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one" Albert Einstein
I feel that one of the most important ingredients in your formula for success is having a clearly defined and vivid vision of where you want to be. At first the “how” is not that important, you need to create a vision that gets you so excited that you develop the mentality that you will stop at nothing to get what you want. Many people first focus on the how than very quickly find themselves overwhelmed with too many details and just as quickly talk them selves out of pursuing their goals. You have to take a leap of faith and trust that the how will be shown to you as you go along. Do you remember the days as a kid with dreams of epic proportions? What happened those dreams? You got older and domesticated by a society that says that having those dreams is foolish. That’s nonsense, why wouldn’t you want to accomplish the things that even as a kid you knew would make you happy. I encourage you to dream like you once used to.
“Shoot for the moon…even if you
Miss you’ll still be amongst them stars”- Beanie Sigel(rap artist)
One way I keep myself motivated and keep my vision alive is through my picture book. In my book I have everything that I want and every morning I look at it to remind me what I want in life. Go right now and get some magazines and cut out every picture of the things you want and places you want to visit, don’t be thinking if you can actually get those things now, dare to dream. Remember your mind thinks in pictures, look at your picture book until in becomes as vivid as possible in the theater of your mind. Your mind cant tell the difference between something you remember or something you experience in real time.
Visualization Exercises(meditation):
(Please read this whole section, I will explain why almost all self help fails to produce the results people want)
You can think of meditation as conscious sleeping. Just as you sleep to gain energy for your daily functioning, meditation is conscious sleeping that gives you all the energy(creative abilities) you need for what you intend to accomplish.
I also use lucid dreaming as another way to increase creativity, I will soon write a hub on lucid dreaming.(Lucid dreaming is when you actually become aware in your dream that you are dreaming, once properly trained you can control your dreams)
Use the power of meditation to help you achieve your goals. Strive to everyday meditate one minute for each year of your current age. I am 24, so everyday I try and meditate at least 24 minutes. If you are new to meditation check out this website on transcendental meditation .There are many techniques find something that feels good to you.
Quantum Mind Power
Daily Routine:
1. Pick a nice comfortable place where to meditate. Have an intention on what you plan to meditate on before hand. Ex. A destination you want to visit.
2. Find a comfortable position to sit. Sitting on a chair or on the floor, does not really matter as long as it is comfortable for you.
3. Cross your legs, clasp your hands together.(this helps make your own energy circuit and gives stability)
4.Close your eyes, than stop inner and outer chatter.
5. Relax, begin thinking that your whole body is becoming extremely relaxed.
6. Eyes should be closed.
7. You will notice that your mind is full of many thoughts. Your mind will than begin to ask questions to those thoughts and try and come up with answers whether they are known or unknown. This is why your mind(ego) can be your enemy if it mostly thinks in negative terms.
8. You will need to transcend your mind and thoughts in order to meditate. Your mind and thoughts are what separate you from your higher self, you can also think of your higher self as your subconscious mind don't worry about the labels.
9. You transcend your mind by simply observing your breath. Don't inhale/exhale consciously just observe your natural breathing. Don't go behind your thoughts, if you catch your self drifting just always come back to your breathing. Slowly the amount of thoughts reduces and your breathing becomes thinner and shorter. If you are able to keep all your focus on your breath, you will get to the point of no thought and no breath. This state of no thought is your connection to your divine being and energy body. The more you meditate the more benefits and energy that you will receive. Your own self awareness and consciousness will also expand.
10. You will feel a very pleasurable feeling meditating. If you feel any discomfort in your body these can be possible areas of disease or illness. If you meditate everyday you will heal your body naturally.
11. Now that you are in a state of no thought and total relaxation. Begin to think only on your intention. Remember whatever you think now is in a state that will be impregnated directly into your subconscious. It is incredibly important that you don't color any of your thoughts with any lack,limitation,dis belief or doubt. This is why almost all self help material does not produce the results people expect. Wishing for more money(or anything else) never works, the thought of wanting more money also has the thought of doubt attached to it. Ask your self how many thoughts that you think about have been modified in a way that is not beneficial to you. You just never realize that you are programming your sub conscious all day. This is why meditation is so powerful. You are able to make suggestions to your subconscious where the thought is not modified in any way shape or form. So if you want to make things happen fast you need to get rid of the concept of attaching time to yourthoughts. You have to remember that everything you get in your life comes based on the conditions that you set up and time is usually one condition that cuases the most frustration with people. Just as a computer programmer gives a computer instructions to complete a task, you program the most powerful computer you have which is your subconscious. Your conscious mind acts as the gate keeper as to what thoughts you let in. Now that you know this choose to become more aware and conscious about what you think all day long. Learn to see the world in a non linear way, remove time from your consiousness and watch how things show up in your life faster than you ever thought.
Thoughts = feelings = actions = results (just like that you can begin to shape your life)
12. Mentally rehearse every moment of it with all your senses. Dare to be like Peter Pan :)
13. Visualize in vivid detail, your intention as established fact. Also make sure you meditate only on days you feel good. Remember you want your thoughts to be as pure as possible. This also means that you really find out what you want, make sure its not something you want solely for ego purposes. Thoughts that involve the ego are usually always colored with negativity.
14. With time you will begin to be able to hold vivid pictures of anything(you will develop you third eye). The more you are able to hold onto an image in your mind the more power you give it.
15. Get up and go have a great day :) notice how much energy you have the rest of the day. As you advance in your discipline, you will have a lot of fun basically creating your day before it starts.
Beliefs:
To start making that vision a reality you will have to change some of your beliefs and adopt beliefs that will help you reach your goals. Because if you have this great vision of you retiring on your own private beach but deep down you don’t believe you can do it, you have already sabotaged yourself. Your desire and your belief are in conflict with each other and therefore you will not manifest what it is that you want into your life. If you want to be a good leader one day but you currently have the belief that you are a shy person, it will not happen. You need to truly make a decision to adopt the belief that you are really outgoing. When you truly decide to do something you will find a way to do it.
“Nothing happens unless first a dream” – Carl Sandburg
Some Ways to shape your beliefs:
1. Always think Success- as soon as you think about failure forget about it and don’t let anymore negative thoughts snowball. The more attention you give a thought the more powerful it will become than you will make it harder for yourself to get back to a productive mind state. The only way to change how you feel is to think about something else. Whenever you feel doubt, fear, and failure creeping into your mind have a default thought that you can use to avoid giving attention to mental poison. As soon as I feel I am entertaining thoughts of negativity I immediately begin to think about relaxing on a beach and affirm to myself that “I attract abundance to all areas of my life”. The more I try and have the feelings of being on the beach with no worries and remind myself that I am in complete control of how I feel, I immediately feel the negativity begin to melt away as I begin to focus on my new positive thought.
2. Develop the belief that you are better than you currently feel- don’t look at your weaknesses as a burden but as an opportunity to improve your self. When I find something I don’t like about my personality I don’t get down on myself for it, I just realize that now I have something I can work on to make myself better. Most importantly love and accept who you are, not who you will or should be.
3. Believe that sky’s the limit- if you have little goals you will have little success, the bigger your dreams the more potential for your possible success. Even If you think your dream is too big, strive to reach that dream, because you will end up at a better place than if you would have set your sights on a smaller goal. The trick is to really believe you can do it, this just isn’t wishful thinking. Wishful thinking never got anyone anything, you need to find out what you want and get out there and get it. If you really want that house on the beach your mind will come up with ways to help you get it.(develop faith in your self)
How to remove junk beliefs:
1. Meditate on your old belief and tell the truth about it. Now replace it with a belief that will better serve you. Meditate on it until you feel you have changed that belief.
Now when you accept these beliefs it means you will have to raise your standards and develop a strategy that will put you on the road to accomplish what you set forth. Do whatever you have to do. Read any books that will spark your interest or help you discover any distinctions that will point you in the right direction. Find a role model, a person who has already accomplished what you want. Find out what some of their beliefs, interests, body language, image, etc. is and adopt them as your own. Your role model can serve as a blue print, the goal is to cut down on the trial and error so you can get where you want faster than you ever thought possible. You can take all the qualities from all the people you admire and add your own personal touch. Just think of if it as if you are trying to build the person you want and know you can be. Thomas Edison is one of the greatest inventors in history, he was able to elaborate, modify and adapt on other peoples ideas. You don’t have torecreate the wheel just constantly be aware of any success ingredients you come across and make them part of your identity. Think of your mind as a warehouse the more you learn and store will eventually serve as an inventory for future reference, which will breed new ideas and perspectives.
Consistency is key we are all creatures of patterns and habits. In order to become the person you desire to be, start by changing your patterns. Think of all the quality traits you must possess, make a pattern which uses those traits efficiently than strive to be consistent. Consistency will develop into habits and this is key because if you fail to be consistent with your actions you will not be consistent with who you desire to be. This lack of confusion between your actions and what your mind knows you are capable of leads to tremendous amounts of stress, confusion, and even depression. Many other consequences also come from a lack of consistency.
This is why awareness of self is critical; you need to be constantly evaluating your self. Decide if the persona you are currently displaying is the reality that you want for yourself,because with enough time thats what your reality will become.
Thank you for reading my hub, I love to hear anyones opinion or suggestions. Good luck to everyone.
by: Ivan Campuzano
Creating Your Vision
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one" Albert Einstein
I feel that one of the most important ingredients in your formula for success is having a clearly defined and vivid vision of where you want to be. At first the “how” is not that important, you need to create a vision that gets you so excited that you develop the mentality that you will stop at nothing to get what you want. Many people first focus on the how than very quickly find themselves overwhelmed with too many details and just as quickly talk them selves out of pursuing their goals. You have to take a leap of faith and trust that the how will be shown to you as you go along. Do you remember the days as a kid with dreams of epic proportions? What happened those dreams? You got older and domesticated by a society that says that having those dreams is foolish. That’s nonsense, why wouldn’t you want to accomplish the things that even as a kid you knew would make you happy. I encourage you to dream like you once used to.
“Shoot for the moon…even if you
Miss you’ll still be amongst them stars”- Beanie Sigel(rap artist)
One way I keep myself motivated and keep my vision alive is through my picture book. In my book I have everything that I want and every morning I look at it to remind me what I want in life. Go right now and get some magazines and cut out every picture of the things you want and places you want to visit, don’t be thinking if you can actually get those things now, dare to dream. Remember your mind thinks in pictures, look at your picture book until in becomes as vivid as possible in the theater of your mind. Your mind cant tell the difference between something you remember or something you experience in real time.
Visualization Exercises(meditation):
(Please read this whole section, I will explain why almost all self help fails to produce the results people want)
You can think of meditation as conscious sleeping. Just as you sleep to gain energy for your daily functioning, meditation is conscious sleeping that gives you all the energy(creative abilities) you need for what you intend to accomplish.
I also use lucid dreaming as another way to increase creativity, I will soon write a hub on lucid dreaming.(Lucid dreaming is when you actually become aware in your dream that you are dreaming, once properly trained you can control your dreams)
Use the power of meditation to help you achieve your goals. Strive to everyday meditate one minute for each year of your current age. I am 24, so everyday I try and meditate at least 24 minutes. If you are new to meditation check out this website on transcendental meditation .There are many techniques find something that feels good to you.
Quantum Mind Power
Daily Routine:
1. Pick a nice comfortable place where to meditate. Have an intention on what you plan to meditate on before hand. Ex. A destination you want to visit.
2. Find a comfortable position to sit. Sitting on a chair or on the floor, does not really matter as long as it is comfortable for you.
3. Cross your legs, clasp your hands together.(this helps make your own energy circuit and gives stability)
4.Close your eyes, than stop inner and outer chatter.
5. Relax, begin thinking that your whole body is becoming extremely relaxed.
6. Eyes should be closed.
7. You will notice that your mind is full of many thoughts. Your mind will than begin to ask questions to those thoughts and try and come up with answers whether they are known or unknown. This is why your mind(ego) can be your enemy if it mostly thinks in negative terms.
8. You will need to transcend your mind and thoughts in order to meditate. Your mind and thoughts are what separate you from your higher self, you can also think of your higher self as your subconscious mind don't worry about the labels.
9. You transcend your mind by simply observing your breath. Don't inhale/exhale consciously just observe your natural breathing. Don't go behind your thoughts, if you catch your self drifting just always come back to your breathing. Slowly the amount of thoughts reduces and your breathing becomes thinner and shorter. If you are able to keep all your focus on your breath, you will get to the point of no thought and no breath. This state of no thought is your connection to your divine being and energy body. The more you meditate the more benefits and energy that you will receive. Your own self awareness and consciousness will also expand.
10. You will feel a very pleasurable feeling meditating. If you feel any discomfort in your body these can be possible areas of disease or illness. If you meditate everyday you will heal your body naturally.
11. Now that you are in a state of no thought and total relaxation. Begin to think only on your intention. Remember whatever you think now is in a state that will be impregnated directly into your subconscious. It is incredibly important that you don't color any of your thoughts with any lack,limitation,dis belief or doubt. This is why almost all self help material does not produce the results people expect. Wishing for more money(or anything else) never works, the thought of wanting more money also has the thought of doubt attached to it. Ask your self how many thoughts that you think about have been modified in a way that is not beneficial to you. You just never realize that you are programming your sub conscious all day. This is why meditation is so powerful. You are able to make suggestions to your subconscious where the thought is not modified in any way shape or form. So if you want to make things happen fast you need to get rid of the concept of attaching time to yourthoughts. You have to remember that everything you get in your life comes based on the conditions that you set up and time is usually one condition that cuases the most frustration with people. Just as a computer programmer gives a computer instructions to complete a task, you program the most powerful computer you have which is your subconscious. Your conscious mind acts as the gate keeper as to what thoughts you let in. Now that you know this choose to become more aware and conscious about what you think all day long. Learn to see the world in a non linear way, remove time from your consiousness and watch how things show up in your life faster than you ever thought.
Thoughts = feelings = actions = results (just like that you can begin to shape your life)
12. Mentally rehearse every moment of it with all your senses. Dare to be like Peter Pan :)
13. Visualize in vivid detail, your intention as established fact. Also make sure you meditate only on days you feel good. Remember you want your thoughts to be as pure as possible. This also means that you really find out what you want, make sure its not something you want solely for ego purposes. Thoughts that involve the ego are usually always colored with negativity.
14. With time you will begin to be able to hold vivid pictures of anything(you will develop you third eye). The more you are able to hold onto an image in your mind the more power you give it.
15. Get up and go have a great day :) notice how much energy you have the rest of the day. As you advance in your discipline, you will have a lot of fun basically creating your day before it starts.
Beliefs:
To start making that vision a reality you will have to change some of your beliefs and adopt beliefs that will help you reach your goals. Because if you have this great vision of you retiring on your own private beach but deep down you don’t believe you can do it, you have already sabotaged yourself. Your desire and your belief are in conflict with each other and therefore you will not manifest what it is that you want into your life. If you want to be a good leader one day but you currently have the belief that you are a shy person, it will not happen. You need to truly make a decision to adopt the belief that you are really outgoing. When you truly decide to do something you will find a way to do it.
“Nothing happens unless first a dream” – Carl Sandburg
Some Ways to shape your beliefs:
1. Always think Success- as soon as you think about failure forget about it and don’t let anymore negative thoughts snowball. The more attention you give a thought the more powerful it will become than you will make it harder for yourself to get back to a productive mind state. The only way to change how you feel is to think about something else. Whenever you feel doubt, fear, and failure creeping into your mind have a default thought that you can use to avoid giving attention to mental poison. As soon as I feel I am entertaining thoughts of negativity I immediately begin to think about relaxing on a beach and affirm to myself that “I attract abundance to all areas of my life”. The more I try and have the feelings of being on the beach with no worries and remind myself that I am in complete control of how I feel, I immediately feel the negativity begin to melt away as I begin to focus on my new positive thought.
2. Develop the belief that you are better than you currently feel- don’t look at your weaknesses as a burden but as an opportunity to improve your self. When I find something I don’t like about my personality I don’t get down on myself for it, I just realize that now I have something I can work on to make myself better. Most importantly love and accept who you are, not who you will or should be.
3. Believe that sky’s the limit- if you have little goals you will have little success, the bigger your dreams the more potential for your possible success. Even If you think your dream is too big, strive to reach that dream, because you will end up at a better place than if you would have set your sights on a smaller goal. The trick is to really believe you can do it, this just isn’t wishful thinking. Wishful thinking never got anyone anything, you need to find out what you want and get out there and get it. If you really want that house on the beach your mind will come up with ways to help you get it.(develop faith in your self)
How to remove junk beliefs:
1. Meditate on your old belief and tell the truth about it. Now replace it with a belief that will better serve you. Meditate on it until you feel you have changed that belief.
Now when you accept these beliefs it means you will have to raise your standards and develop a strategy that will put you on the road to accomplish what you set forth. Do whatever you have to do. Read any books that will spark your interest or help you discover any distinctions that will point you in the right direction. Find a role model, a person who has already accomplished what you want. Find out what some of their beliefs, interests, body language, image, etc. is and adopt them as your own. Your role model can serve as a blue print, the goal is to cut down on the trial and error so you can get where you want faster than you ever thought possible. You can take all the qualities from all the people you admire and add your own personal touch. Just think of if it as if you are trying to build the person you want and know you can be. Thomas Edison is one of the greatest inventors in history, he was able to elaborate, modify and adapt on other peoples ideas. You don’t have torecreate the wheel just constantly be aware of any success ingredients you come across and make them part of your identity. Think of your mind as a warehouse the more you learn and store will eventually serve as an inventory for future reference, which will breed new ideas and perspectives.
Consistency is key we are all creatures of patterns and habits. In order to become the person you desire to be, start by changing your patterns. Think of all the quality traits you must possess, make a pattern which uses those traits efficiently than strive to be consistent. Consistency will develop into habits and this is key because if you fail to be consistent with your actions you will not be consistent with who you desire to be. This lack of confusion between your actions and what your mind knows you are capable of leads to tremendous amounts of stress, confusion, and even depression. Many other consequences also come from a lack of consistency.
This is why awareness of self is critical; you need to be constantly evaluating your self. Decide if the persona you are currently displaying is the reality that you want for yourself,because with enough time thats what your reality will become.
Thank you for reading my hub, I love to hear anyones opinion or suggestions. Good luck to everyone.
- I Think I Can. I Think I Can. Can I?
I Think I Can. I Think I Can. Can I?
by: Michele Wahlder
I think I can. I think I can. Can I?
Your mental train ticket to self-empowerment
We all find ourselves at certain points in our lives holding first class tickets to negative mental trains of thought. Michele Wahlder (MS, LPC, PCC), a two-time cancer survivor and Dallas, Texas-based Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist, has placed thousands of people on the right track to self-empowerment via a plan she calls the 5 C Process. The journey challenges individuals to:
One
Clarify Current View – Where are you now- honestly?
Conscious awareness of your current view is the first step in becoming the best you can be. Getting clear about how your life aligns with your values, talents and unique gifts is vital to your happiness. You need to know where you are in order to learn where you want to go.
You can clarify your current view by completing a review of eight life areas. Be honest with yourself about how happy are you with your profession, finances, health and overall well-being, primary relationships, personal development, spirituality, environment, hobbies, etc.
Two
Connect with Your Highest Vision – Where do you want to be?
Example: A client of mine, a yoga instructor, decided she was happy teaching but wanted to contribute to the world on a larger level. She wasn’t happy with the quality of the yoga clothing that was accessible to her and her fellow yogis. Her vision was to design and create fun, hip and timeless yoga clothes using eco-conscious fabrics.
You have to get really clear about what you want. It is crucial that you connect to your highest vision of yourself because you can’t create it unless you are clear about what it looks like. If you don’t have a vision of where you want to go or what you want to be, you will most likely NOT get there. To quote Henrietta Klauser, “If you have a connection to what you want, take the next step and write it down.” If you don’t have any idea about what you want, or how you want to be in life to bring about greater happiness, begin looking through magazines and create a Vision Board/Collage of what attracts you. You may also want to consider getting an outside perspective from a friend or a professional coach. I take my clients through a guided imagery that gives them a glimpse of what their future could look like. There are also books that can help guide you. Just get help assessing your talents, divine gifts and abilities and then determine how you want to use them more fully in the world. We can’t help others as fully, if we are not aware of how we can best serve. So instead of thinking of it as selfish to engage in knowing yourself better, I would suggest you consider it selfish to hold back and not be the best you can be. Only in this way, can we help the world and others.
Three
Create Inspiring Goals – How will you get there?
Example: My client created a tiered plan of what needed to happen step by step – outer goal. All of this was influenced by her inner goal of keeping a measured pace and a balanced life. Her goal was to enjoy the process.
You have to create a plan and take specific actions to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. When most people write goals, they just write a list of action steps, usually external actions. I believe it is more powerful to have inner and outer goals. An outer goal is what you want. For instance, you might think, “I want a new house”. An inner goal is more focused on the how. How will a new home benefit me and my family? Will it offer more common gathering areas, a larger kitchen so that we can cook together, etc.? How can I appreciate what I have now until I get this home? How can I make this a joyful experience rather than a stressful one? If you can not be grateful for what you have now, then when you get a new home, it will only create very short-term happiness for you. Then, you will be focused on the next external illusion of happiness. For 2008, I suggest taking at least three of the life areas I mentioned earlier and jot down how you couldbenefit from living your highest vision in each area. Next, add action steps toward your desired achievements along with completion dates.
Four
Clear Obstacles – How will you remove obstacles in your way?
We all have dreams and visions for our life, but frankly, there are many things that can get in the way. The two most common obstacles I see with my clients are:
The inability to say NO— In order to bridge the gap from your current view to your highest vision, you have to make room for what “Could Be”. If your life is full and you want to add more of the things that are truly important in your life, you should start the change process by making room first. You must say no to some things in your life, so you can say yes to what is most important. You have to give up the destructive habits, behaviors and activities to make room for new ones.
A metaphor would be a water hose watering a flowering plant. The water in the hose is your life force and the flowering plant is what you are trying to grow in your life. If the water hose has leaks, it will not have enough water or life force/energy to reach its desired outcome or vision (to grow the plant into full bloom). Examples of leaks might include toxic friendships, unrealistic expectations, watching too much television, eating sugar, overspending, negative relational patterns with your spouse or working on an outdated job.
Example: A client’s obstacle here was that her 8- year-old daughter needed caring for and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to be a good mother plus jumpstart a successful, new business. We remedied this issue by getting clear on the proper definition of a good mother. Also, practically speaking, she needed help picking up her daughter from school. So she got her husband to assist her in this area so she would have time to create this new business.
Negative self-talk—Research shows we have approximately 50,000 internal messages we say to ourselves daily. We are constantly walking around having conversations with ourselves. And it is what we say that makes all the difference in the overall quality of our lives.
Example: I was once in Starbucks, and I watched this woman spill her coffee while reaching for a sugar packet and I heard her say out loud, “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
Now, I just happen to hear her, but this is an example of something you might say internally as well. You might think, “No big deal. I say things like this to myself all the time.” Well, IT IS A BIG DEAL as our subconscious hears these messages and acts on them as if they were real. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t want someone else saying to you.
Think of self-talk like mental fuel. Now, imagine filling your car with dirty water. We all know you wouldn’t get very far. Now, take that same car and fill it with high quality gasoline. You’ll most likely reach your destination. It is the same with people and the words we use. If the words are negative and toxic, we will sputter along with low energy and our performance suffers. If our words are positive and tender, we will feel confident, energized, encouraged and will most likely meet our goals faster and easier. Here are some key things to remember if you ever find yourself preparing to board the train of BAD self-talk:
B– stands for belittling self-talk. Stop telling yourself, “I am not good enough.” If your dream is to have a healthy self-confidence, which of the following examples is more likely to get your there:
A. “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
B. “Whoops, mistakes happen.”
Can you see how the Answer B is much kinder?
A – stands for awfulizing. Stop predicting a future filled with gloom and doom, and dwelling on scary thoughts. If you dream of obtaining a career you love, which of the following will move you closer to your vision:
A. “I did terribly on my interview, I’ll never find a job I like.”
B. “I will answer that question on past employment differently next time and I will ace it! I know I will one day have the job I love.”
Can you see how Answer B places you in the mindset of a successful job search?
D – stands for deceiving. This is when you deceive yourself into thinking you are a victim, and that other people are to blame for your circumstances. If we want a happy relationship which will of the below responses will aid in achieving this goal:
A. “If my spouse would only do more around the house, then I would be happy.”
B. “I can and will choose happiness today, no matter what my spouse does.”
Answer B is the right choice, wouldn’t you agree?
S – stands for shoulding – This is when you give yourself a lot of shoulds, musts, and ought tos, then beat yourself up for not living up to unrealistic standards. Say your dream is to be in top physical condition, which will further that:
A. “I should have eaten a salad for lunch instead of that big ol’ hamburger. I’m such a pig!”
B. “I could have eaten a salad, but I chose not to. Tomorrow I will make healthier choices.”
The second choice is so much more inspiring, don’t you think?
Five
Commit to Action – Are you willing to do what it takes?
The final step of the 5 C Process is to commit to action. How many times have we all made plans and never carried them out, or started off excited and lost motivation? No one ever does anything great alone. We all need encouragement and support from others including an accountability partner who is willing to help hold the vision of the person you want to be. In the previous example of my client, her biggest negative self-talk was how to be a good mom and a good business woman. Her thoughts were, “If I don’t pick up my child every day from school, I am a bad mother.” Instead, we replaced it with, “Picking up my child from school daily is not what makes me a good mother. I am, indeed, a fabulous mother.”
Here are the four action steps that have been proven to help you eliminate your negative self talk:
• Become aware of your negative messages –listen to voice in head
• Stop! You have to stop immediately if you find yourself dwelling on any negative thoughts
• Replace negative thoughts with a kinder alternatives
• Practice. It takes a commitment of time in order to turn a pattern of negative thinking into a more positive train of thought.
This interview was referenced by http://www.chinika.com. To learn more about Michele’s 5 C Process and her upcoming seminars, please call 214 -823-LIFE ( 5433), or visit her Web site at http://www.michelewahlder.com Once there, you will also be able to download a free workbook containing strategies on how to obtain a positive outlook on life.
by: Michele Wahlder
I think I can. I think I can. Can I?
Your mental train ticket to self-empowerment
We all find ourselves at certain points in our lives holding first class tickets to negative mental trains of thought. Michele Wahlder (MS, LPC, PCC), a two-time cancer survivor and Dallas, Texas-based Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist, has placed thousands of people on the right track to self-empowerment via a plan she calls the 5 C Process. The journey challenges individuals to:
One
Clarify Current View – Where are you now- honestly?
Conscious awareness of your current view is the first step in becoming the best you can be. Getting clear about how your life aligns with your values, talents and unique gifts is vital to your happiness. You need to know where you are in order to learn where you want to go.
You can clarify your current view by completing a review of eight life areas. Be honest with yourself about how happy are you with your profession, finances, health and overall well-being, primary relationships, personal development, spirituality, environment, hobbies, etc.
Two
Connect with Your Highest Vision – Where do you want to be?
Example: A client of mine, a yoga instructor, decided she was happy teaching but wanted to contribute to the world on a larger level. She wasn’t happy with the quality of the yoga clothing that was accessible to her and her fellow yogis. Her vision was to design and create fun, hip and timeless yoga clothes using eco-conscious fabrics.
You have to get really clear about what you want. It is crucial that you connect to your highest vision of yourself because you can’t create it unless you are clear about what it looks like. If you don’t have a vision of where you want to go or what you want to be, you will most likely NOT get there. To quote Henrietta Klauser, “If you have a connection to what you want, take the next step and write it down.” If you don’t have any idea about what you want, or how you want to be in life to bring about greater happiness, begin looking through magazines and create a Vision Board/Collage of what attracts you. You may also want to consider getting an outside perspective from a friend or a professional coach. I take my clients through a guided imagery that gives them a glimpse of what their future could look like. There are also books that can help guide you. Just get help assessing your talents, divine gifts and abilities and then determine how you want to use them more fully in the world. We can’t help others as fully, if we are not aware of how we can best serve. So instead of thinking of it as selfish to engage in knowing yourself better, I would suggest you consider it selfish to hold back and not be the best you can be. Only in this way, can we help the world and others.
Three
Create Inspiring Goals – How will you get there?
Example: My client created a tiered plan of what needed to happen step by step – outer goal. All of this was influenced by her inner goal of keeping a measured pace and a balanced life. Her goal was to enjoy the process.
You have to create a plan and take specific actions to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. When most people write goals, they just write a list of action steps, usually external actions. I believe it is more powerful to have inner and outer goals. An outer goal is what you want. For instance, you might think, “I want a new house”. An inner goal is more focused on the how. How will a new home benefit me and my family? Will it offer more common gathering areas, a larger kitchen so that we can cook together, etc.? How can I appreciate what I have now until I get this home? How can I make this a joyful experience rather than a stressful one? If you can not be grateful for what you have now, then when you get a new home, it will only create very short-term happiness for you. Then, you will be focused on the next external illusion of happiness. For 2008, I suggest taking at least three of the life areas I mentioned earlier and jot down how you couldbenefit from living your highest vision in each area. Next, add action steps toward your desired achievements along with completion dates.
Four
Clear Obstacles – How will you remove obstacles in your way?
We all have dreams and visions for our life, but frankly, there are many things that can get in the way. The two most common obstacles I see with my clients are:
The inability to say NO— In order to bridge the gap from your current view to your highest vision, you have to make room for what “Could Be”. If your life is full and you want to add more of the things that are truly important in your life, you should start the change process by making room first. You must say no to some things in your life, so you can say yes to what is most important. You have to give up the destructive habits, behaviors and activities to make room for new ones.
A metaphor would be a water hose watering a flowering plant. The water in the hose is your life force and the flowering plant is what you are trying to grow in your life. If the water hose has leaks, it will not have enough water or life force/energy to reach its desired outcome or vision (to grow the plant into full bloom). Examples of leaks might include toxic friendships, unrealistic expectations, watching too much television, eating sugar, overspending, negative relational patterns with your spouse or working on an outdated job.
Example: A client’s obstacle here was that her 8- year-old daughter needed caring for and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to be a good mother plus jumpstart a successful, new business. We remedied this issue by getting clear on the proper definition of a good mother. Also, practically speaking, she needed help picking up her daughter from school. So she got her husband to assist her in this area so she would have time to create this new business.
Negative self-talk—Research shows we have approximately 50,000 internal messages we say to ourselves daily. We are constantly walking around having conversations with ourselves. And it is what we say that makes all the difference in the overall quality of our lives.
Example: I was once in Starbucks, and I watched this woman spill her coffee while reaching for a sugar packet and I heard her say out loud, “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
Now, I just happen to hear her, but this is an example of something you might say internally as well. You might think, “No big deal. I say things like this to myself all the time.” Well, IT IS A BIG DEAL as our subconscious hears these messages and acts on them as if they were real. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t want someone else saying to you.
Think of self-talk like mental fuel. Now, imagine filling your car with dirty water. We all know you wouldn’t get very far. Now, take that same car and fill it with high quality gasoline. You’ll most likely reach your destination. It is the same with people and the words we use. If the words are negative and toxic, we will sputter along with low energy and our performance suffers. If our words are positive and tender, we will feel confident, energized, encouraged and will most likely meet our goals faster and easier. Here are some key things to remember if you ever find yourself preparing to board the train of BAD self-talk:
B– stands for belittling self-talk. Stop telling yourself, “I am not good enough.” If your dream is to have a healthy self-confidence, which of the following examples is more likely to get your there:
A. “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
B. “Whoops, mistakes happen.”
Can you see how the Answer B is much kinder?
A – stands for awfulizing. Stop predicting a future filled with gloom and doom, and dwelling on scary thoughts. If you dream of obtaining a career you love, which of the following will move you closer to your vision:
A. “I did terribly on my interview, I’ll never find a job I like.”
B. “I will answer that question on past employment differently next time and I will ace it! I know I will one day have the job I love.”
Can you see how Answer B places you in the mindset of a successful job search?
D – stands for deceiving. This is when you deceive yourself into thinking you are a victim, and that other people are to blame for your circumstances. If we want a happy relationship which will of the below responses will aid in achieving this goal:
A. “If my spouse would only do more around the house, then I would be happy.”
B. “I can and will choose happiness today, no matter what my spouse does.”
Answer B is the right choice, wouldn’t you agree?
S – stands for shoulding – This is when you give yourself a lot of shoulds, musts, and ought tos, then beat yourself up for not living up to unrealistic standards. Say your dream is to be in top physical condition, which will further that:
A. “I should have eaten a salad for lunch instead of that big ol’ hamburger. I’m such a pig!”
B. “I could have eaten a salad, but I chose not to. Tomorrow I will make healthier choices.”
The second choice is so much more inspiring, don’t you think?
Five
Commit to Action – Are you willing to do what it takes?
The final step of the 5 C Process is to commit to action. How many times have we all made plans and never carried them out, or started off excited and lost motivation? No one ever does anything great alone. We all need encouragement and support from others including an accountability partner who is willing to help hold the vision of the person you want to be. In the previous example of my client, her biggest negative self-talk was how to be a good mom and a good business woman. Her thoughts were, “If I don’t pick up my child every day from school, I am a bad mother.” Instead, we replaced it with, “Picking up my child from school daily is not what makes me a good mother. I am, indeed, a fabulous mother.”
Here are the four action steps that have been proven to help you eliminate your negative self talk:
• Become aware of your negative messages –listen to voice in head
• Stop! You have to stop immediately if you find yourself dwelling on any negative thoughts
• Replace negative thoughts with a kinder alternatives
• Practice. It takes a commitment of time in order to turn a pattern of negative thinking into a more positive train of thought.
This interview was referenced by http://www.chinika.com. To learn more about Michele’s 5 C Process and her upcoming seminars, please call 214 -823-LIFE ( 5433), or visit her Web site at http://www.michelewahlder.com Once there, you will also be able to download a free workbook containing strategies on how to obtain a positive outlook on life.
- William Stephenson, On Doing More In Life
William Stephenson, On Doing More In Life
by: William Stephenson
My name is William Stephenson; I grew up in Manasquan and have spent most of my life in New Jersey. I’d like to speak with you about achieving your best, about making the most of your assets and realizing your biggest dreams.
I was raised with the adage that my accomplishments were only limited to the heights I could imagine. This was a commonly used and inspirational line that many parents shared with their children. At the time, those words didn’t mean so much to me. Upon further reflection however, the spirit of those words was ever present in my blind sub-conscience.
When I was only 9 years of age, I had 2 paper routes on opposite ends of town. It was a morning paper, The Start Ledger; therefore both routes had to be completed by 7am. I pedaled fast to get back from the Manasquan Beach and change in time for school. The early riches that I enjoyed afforded many crucial lessons which would subsequently fuel my future achievements.
By learning the power of hard work and money at such an early age, an age where we’re all highly impressionable, it forever solidified the correlation between the two. I am incredibly grateful to my parents for supporting me in those early desires. The significance of this work should not be underscored; to me, it helped form one of my core values in life, responsibility.
By learning to do for myself and not waiting for someone else to take responsibility, I not only acquired things more speedily, but I had the good feeling of having earned them myself.
This early money was invested wisely, not an IRA, not a 401K, I used those funds for flight lessons at Allaire Airport. At age 13, I was speaking with an Uncle of mine. He was a war hero to me, who fought in Korea. He stated that he always regretted not learning how to fly. For some reason, his regret cautioned me enough not to follow his path. I clipped a 50% off coupon from an Entertainment Guide for an introductory flight lesson. Well, soaring above my home town and central New Jersey served two purposes. First, it sold me instantly on the joys of flight. Second, and more importantly, it extended my reach out into the world; it effectively reduced the size of it and led me to believe that it would be easier to conquer now. Again, I have to thank my parents for allowing me to circle their home at 1000 feet. They clearly hadn’t read all of the accident reports on that scenario.
About one year after that first flight lesson, I accomplished one of my most rewarding feats. I had officially been involved with Boy Scout Troop 59 of Manasquan for only 4 years when I had reached a pinnacle by attaining the rank of Eagle Scout. To this day, less than 2% of all scouts make it that far. To this day as well, I still don’t know why that percentage has remained so low. Even at age 14, my drive was surpassing my moments. Each Eagle Scout applicant must appear before a board of review to validate his award and confirm that he in fact extols the virtues befitting the milestone. At this board of review the applicant sits among and across from several elders in his troop as well as a representative from the council level, the governing body for many troops.
I perplexed them all that evening, not on purpose of course. All I had to do was answer a few questions and I would be an Eagle Scout. Later, I was told that the elders of my troop were kicking themselves underneath the table. They would have preferred that I had said less rather than more that evening.
I was questioned about my awareness of the high honor they would soon bestow upon me. My answers and my feelings in general about the rank of Eagle Scout at the time were slightly dismissive. Quite frankly, I saw the rank of Eagle as just another step along the scouting trail. In fact, as they pressed me about why I didn’t seem as excited about it as perhaps the elders were, I told them that every scout should follow the logical path that I had taken and achieve the rank as well. My unrefined point that evening was that I felt the very act of holding that rank up on a special pedestal was one of the impediments to most scouts attaining it. I believe that more scouts would enjoy the accolade if it were not placed so high above them. Of course, this could possibly dilute the experience at the same time.
After much back and forth, I acquiesced and agreed that it was indeed a tremendous accomplishment. I was now one of the younger Eagle Scouts in our troop’s storied history. My years in scouting provided far too many memories and tales to share with you this evening, however, the leadership skills that I cultivated during those early years would prove pivotal. They have played a key part in every major accomplishment and milestone after that. I believe the Boy Scouts to be a fine organization for our youth when accompanied by active parenting. Its affects are incalculable.
Psychologists say that the majority of our basic learning is acquired by the age of 16; if this in indeed true, the importance of our early decisions is paramount. The more healthy habits and useful ventures we take part in during this phase of life, the better.
Soon, I was off to college at the University of South Carolina. I worked almost continuously through those years and took my virtues to the job place. I found myself in a setting where the status quo ruled. It’s certainly easier in the short term to follow the lead; however, leading the pack at the workplace provides far greater returns in the long run. Standing out and shaking up the system takes courage or simply a set of convictions that disregards the consequences. This is why leading in life is critical. When you place yourself in the driver’s seat you are less beholden to peer-pressures which may lead people astray.
Throughout these years my love for flying never ceased. I worked to learn and that correlation always seemed to get me through the tougher days. After graduating with a Bachelors degree in an area unrelated to flying, I returned home and finished the flight ratings required in order to call myself a professional pilot. I was now getting paid to give sightseeing tours up the Hudson River and around the Statue of Liberty. It was a tremendous feeling being right back where I started 10 years earlier yet so much further ahead. I was now getting paid for every one of those coveted flight hours necessary for advancement, how ironic, I felt?
Another crucial lesson learned during this phase of my life was how two steps back could lead oneself miles ahead. I left that wonderful job at Allaire Airport and gambled on a new venture at Teterboro Airport in North Jersey. I made less money and added one hour to my commute each way. Many thought I was crazy, but I was looking beyond tomorrow.
For the next 6½ years, I participated in a niche market in the business aviation world. I flew organ transplant teams around our country in Lear jets, King Airs, and Barons. It was hard work; we were often called into action at the last minute and it was typically midnight. Years later I would be rewarded for those efforts in a far greater way than just my pay. More on that treat soon.
The challenges that forced my cohorts and I in this last position codified that work ethic learned as a paper boy years earlier. One of the lessons there taught me that we are continually growing and every action or inaction we participate in affects our future. We mustn’t look at each day as just any day. Every morning we wake up is another opportunity to better ourselves. Rarely will anyone of us remain stagnant; we’re either moving a head or behind in life. We make these choices everyday and all day.
After just nine years in the aviation industry I had yet again reached a pinnacle. I have taken a job on a Challenger jet flying a Fortune 200 company and its proprietors around the globe. Those early paper route dollars that I invested in flight training have come full circle. Delivering The Star Ledger has broadened my horizons in the literal sense. My world had in fact shrunk that afternoon at age 13, when I took my first flight and my first flight lesson.
To help drive this point home, as to how each action we take today lends to our successes or failures tomorrow, let me tell you about my high school prom date. Edie was one of the more unique individuals attending Manasquan High School during my years there. I quickly noted something special about her. At the time of our senior prom, she had a boyfriend from another school. Because of those circumstances, I was certainly not looking short term when I asked her to be my date for that event. I was looking far into my future and recently that has paid off for me as well. On May 5th of this year Edie and I were married in Manahawkin, NJ; my high school sweetheart is now so much more and forever.
Now, as promised, the reward worth so much more than a paycheck. About a year ago I found myself at a wake for my friend’s grandmother. At this wake I was introduced to the parents of a 6 year old boy. I was expecting to meet these folks because I knew their son had been given a personal tour of Giant’s Stadium a couple of years prior, compliments of the Make-a-Wish Foundation. We had some mutual friends in that football organization. As I spoke with the boy’s parents, I was less interested in the NY Giants and more interested in what their child had endured to warrant the attention of the foundation. The Father told me that his son Stephen had received a heart transplant in early 2001. As they were asking me about the NY Giants, I persisted with the questions about his son’s heart. Well, as it turned out, at about midnight in early 2001, my copilot and I flew to Bradley International Airport in Connecticut and retrieved Stephen’s heart. Confirming the details of the missionafter the wake made me very emotional. This was the closest I had ever been to realizing the fruits of my labor. About two weeks later, we all gathered at little Stephen’s house and enjoyed the Super Bowl together. Stephen told me after a couple hours, “Thank you for my heart.”
Now, in conclusion, I’m no different than anyone else in this room. The only privilege I had growing up was my parents blessing on the myriad of desires I came home with each week. They thankfully had the courage themselves to let me take things to their conclusion. Well, I’m still reaching. When I fly along at 41,000 feet and I gaze out into the stars at night, they just don’t seem so far away. Each and every one of those stars seems to be inviting me towards it. I know there is something behind each one and the more stars that I can look behind, the more confident I grow. Harness each and every day you live and before you know it, you’ll be leading life, not simply living it.
Thank you all very much for allowing me to share some of the things I have learned about life in my first 34 years
by: William Stephenson
My name is William Stephenson; I grew up in Manasquan and have spent most of my life in New Jersey. I’d like to speak with you about achieving your best, about making the most of your assets and realizing your biggest dreams.
I was raised with the adage that my accomplishments were only limited to the heights I could imagine. This was a commonly used and inspirational line that many parents shared with their children. At the time, those words didn’t mean so much to me. Upon further reflection however, the spirit of those words was ever present in my blind sub-conscience.
When I was only 9 years of age, I had 2 paper routes on opposite ends of town. It was a morning paper, The Start Ledger; therefore both routes had to be completed by 7am. I pedaled fast to get back from the Manasquan Beach and change in time for school. The early riches that I enjoyed afforded many crucial lessons which would subsequently fuel my future achievements.
By learning the power of hard work and money at such an early age, an age where we’re all highly impressionable, it forever solidified the correlation between the two. I am incredibly grateful to my parents for supporting me in those early desires. The significance of this work should not be underscored; to me, it helped form one of my core values in life, responsibility.
By learning to do for myself and not waiting for someone else to take responsibility, I not only acquired things more speedily, but I had the good feeling of having earned them myself.
This early money was invested wisely, not an IRA, not a 401K, I used those funds for flight lessons at Allaire Airport. At age 13, I was speaking with an Uncle of mine. He was a war hero to me, who fought in Korea. He stated that he always regretted not learning how to fly. For some reason, his regret cautioned me enough not to follow his path. I clipped a 50% off coupon from an Entertainment Guide for an introductory flight lesson. Well, soaring above my home town and central New Jersey served two purposes. First, it sold me instantly on the joys of flight. Second, and more importantly, it extended my reach out into the world; it effectively reduced the size of it and led me to believe that it would be easier to conquer now. Again, I have to thank my parents for allowing me to circle their home at 1000 feet. They clearly hadn’t read all of the accident reports on that scenario.
About one year after that first flight lesson, I accomplished one of my most rewarding feats. I had officially been involved with Boy Scout Troop 59 of Manasquan for only 4 years when I had reached a pinnacle by attaining the rank of Eagle Scout. To this day, less than 2% of all scouts make it that far. To this day as well, I still don’t know why that percentage has remained so low. Even at age 14, my drive was surpassing my moments. Each Eagle Scout applicant must appear before a board of review to validate his award and confirm that he in fact extols the virtues befitting the milestone. At this board of review the applicant sits among and across from several elders in his troop as well as a representative from the council level, the governing body for many troops.
I perplexed them all that evening, not on purpose of course. All I had to do was answer a few questions and I would be an Eagle Scout. Later, I was told that the elders of my troop were kicking themselves underneath the table. They would have preferred that I had said less rather than more that evening.
I was questioned about my awareness of the high honor they would soon bestow upon me. My answers and my feelings in general about the rank of Eagle Scout at the time were slightly dismissive. Quite frankly, I saw the rank of Eagle as just another step along the scouting trail. In fact, as they pressed me about why I didn’t seem as excited about it as perhaps the elders were, I told them that every scout should follow the logical path that I had taken and achieve the rank as well. My unrefined point that evening was that I felt the very act of holding that rank up on a special pedestal was one of the impediments to most scouts attaining it. I believe that more scouts would enjoy the accolade if it were not placed so high above them. Of course, this could possibly dilute the experience at the same time.
After much back and forth, I acquiesced and agreed that it was indeed a tremendous accomplishment. I was now one of the younger Eagle Scouts in our troop’s storied history. My years in scouting provided far too many memories and tales to share with you this evening, however, the leadership skills that I cultivated during those early years would prove pivotal. They have played a key part in every major accomplishment and milestone after that. I believe the Boy Scouts to be a fine organization for our youth when accompanied by active parenting. Its affects are incalculable.
Psychologists say that the majority of our basic learning is acquired by the age of 16; if this in indeed true, the importance of our early decisions is paramount. The more healthy habits and useful ventures we take part in during this phase of life, the better.
Soon, I was off to college at the University of South Carolina. I worked almost continuously through those years and took my virtues to the job place. I found myself in a setting where the status quo ruled. It’s certainly easier in the short term to follow the lead; however, leading the pack at the workplace provides far greater returns in the long run. Standing out and shaking up the system takes courage or simply a set of convictions that disregards the consequences. This is why leading in life is critical. When you place yourself in the driver’s seat you are less beholden to peer-pressures which may lead people astray.
Throughout these years my love for flying never ceased. I worked to learn and that correlation always seemed to get me through the tougher days. After graduating with a Bachelors degree in an area unrelated to flying, I returned home and finished the flight ratings required in order to call myself a professional pilot. I was now getting paid to give sightseeing tours up the Hudson River and around the Statue of Liberty. It was a tremendous feeling being right back where I started 10 years earlier yet so much further ahead. I was now getting paid for every one of those coveted flight hours necessary for advancement, how ironic, I felt?
Another crucial lesson learned during this phase of my life was how two steps back could lead oneself miles ahead. I left that wonderful job at Allaire Airport and gambled on a new venture at Teterboro Airport in North Jersey. I made less money and added one hour to my commute each way. Many thought I was crazy, but I was looking beyond tomorrow.
For the next 6½ years, I participated in a niche market in the business aviation world. I flew organ transplant teams around our country in Lear jets, King Airs, and Barons. It was hard work; we were often called into action at the last minute and it was typically midnight. Years later I would be rewarded for those efforts in a far greater way than just my pay. More on that treat soon.
The challenges that forced my cohorts and I in this last position codified that work ethic learned as a paper boy years earlier. One of the lessons there taught me that we are continually growing and every action or inaction we participate in affects our future. We mustn’t look at each day as just any day. Every morning we wake up is another opportunity to better ourselves. Rarely will anyone of us remain stagnant; we’re either moving a head or behind in life. We make these choices everyday and all day.
After just nine years in the aviation industry I had yet again reached a pinnacle. I have taken a job on a Challenger jet flying a Fortune 200 company and its proprietors around the globe. Those early paper route dollars that I invested in flight training have come full circle. Delivering The Star Ledger has broadened my horizons in the literal sense. My world had in fact shrunk that afternoon at age 13, when I took my first flight and my first flight lesson.
To help drive this point home, as to how each action we take today lends to our successes or failures tomorrow, let me tell you about my high school prom date. Edie was one of the more unique individuals attending Manasquan High School during my years there. I quickly noted something special about her. At the time of our senior prom, she had a boyfriend from another school. Because of those circumstances, I was certainly not looking short term when I asked her to be my date for that event. I was looking far into my future and recently that has paid off for me as well. On May 5th of this year Edie and I were married in Manahawkin, NJ; my high school sweetheart is now so much more and forever.
Now, as promised, the reward worth so much more than a paycheck. About a year ago I found myself at a wake for my friend’s grandmother. At this wake I was introduced to the parents of a 6 year old boy. I was expecting to meet these folks because I knew their son had been given a personal tour of Giant’s Stadium a couple of years prior, compliments of the Make-a-Wish Foundation. We had some mutual friends in that football organization. As I spoke with the boy’s parents, I was less interested in the NY Giants and more interested in what their child had endured to warrant the attention of the foundation. The Father told me that his son Stephen had received a heart transplant in early 2001. As they were asking me about the NY Giants, I persisted with the questions about his son’s heart. Well, as it turned out, at about midnight in early 2001, my copilot and I flew to Bradley International Airport in Connecticut and retrieved Stephen’s heart. Confirming the details of the missionafter the wake made me very emotional. This was the closest I had ever been to realizing the fruits of my labor. About two weeks later, we all gathered at little Stephen’s house and enjoyed the Super Bowl together. Stephen told me after a couple hours, “Thank you for my heart.”
Now, in conclusion, I’m no different than anyone else in this room. The only privilege I had growing up was my parents blessing on the myriad of desires I came home with each week. They thankfully had the courage themselves to let me take things to their conclusion. Well, I’m still reaching. When I fly along at 41,000 feet and I gaze out into the stars at night, they just don’t seem so far away. Each and every one of those stars seems to be inviting me towards it. I know there is something behind each one and the more stars that I can look behind, the more confident I grow. Harness each and every day you live and before you know it, you’ll be leading life, not simply living it.
Thank you all very much for allowing me to share some of the things I have learned about life in my first 34 years
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